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Open Poetry #24
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suthern
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0 posted 2002-12-18 10:33 AM


I yearn to be your everything,
The one who holds your heart
To go through life your other half -
Entwined souls death can’t part.

I long to be soft on your thoughts
And bring smiles to your face
For home to be where we both are
Regardless of the place.

I want to be held in your arms
Through each and every night
And wake to true love’s bliss of kiss
With every morning’s light.

I want to share your hopes and dreams
And chase away your fears
Together enjoying happiness
Or drying each other’s tears.

But love is not a product of
My fantasies and schemes
And I know I’m simply not
The woman of your dreams.

Perhaps I cannot touch your heart,
Won't be the one you’ll wed -
But as long as we’re both free tonight
May I grab your tush instead?

© Copyright 2002 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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1 posted 2002-12-18 10:34 AM


(smiling) Enjoyed this and the ending humor...


Martie
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2 posted 2002-12-18 10:48 AM


surthern gal...any guy would be a fool to refuse such an offer.  Wonderful love stuff, with a sense of humor.  
vandana
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3 posted 2002-12-18 10:53 AM


enjoy your read
Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2002-12-18 10:59 AM


suthern
And I'm sure you have warm hands. LOL enjoyed.

Earth Angel
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Realms of Light
5 posted 2002-12-18 11:34 AM


Well this should make Toe's day--and maybe your night! tehe

This would definitely turn my heart on if I were the man--and if I was a man!--for whom you wrote this!

You write so well! --on any subject and in any style!

hugs,
Linda

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
6 posted 2002-12-18 01:29 PM


oh my....you got a little spunk goin' here today, lady. I went all the way through and busted a gut on the last line. hehehehe....proves the saying never to judge a book by its cover and never judge a poem till the fat lady sings....

or something like that

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
7 posted 2002-12-18 01:35 PM




You and Toe must be related, for you both have bent minds. You can write a perfectly great, serious poem, then add that twist, that touch of humor that has me grinning ear to ear.

Love this....

Hugs and warm regards,  Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

garysgirl
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8 posted 2002-12-18 01:36 PM


suthern, you sweet friend,
You had me going there... I was just thinking of asking you if I could send this one to my Gary, and then I came to the last two verses and almost fell out of my chair laughing...HaHa!!  
I would still like to send it to Gary, if it's okay?

Thanks for sharing...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

suthern
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9 posted 2002-12-18 01:57 PM


Cpat: I’m so glad you enjoyed! *S* Thank you for letting me know it left a smile. *S*

Martie: Hmmmm... or very, very wise? LOL Thank you! *S*

vandana: I’m glad... thank you! *S*

Seymour: But of course. LOL Don’t wanna cause frostbite on anything vital. LOL Thank you!
*S*

EA: How I wish! LOL Thank you so very much... and hugs back atcha! *S*

PS: ROFL... yup... full measure of brat. *G* But people tell me NOT to sing... and they're not even nice about the telling! LOL

regards: To be favorably compared to my favorite person is compliment indeed... even if
everyone in his family tree is shuddering in horror. *G* Thank you so much! *S*

gg: Of course you can send it to Gary... thank you for wanting to! *S*

Salty
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since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
10 posted 2002-12-18 02:30 PM


Well there you go....you got it figured out.
If you can have them for a life time ..just have them for the night hahaha.

Very good stuff here.


~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

christian
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since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

11 posted 2002-12-18 02:50 PM



i don't like it. i mean, sure, the diction
in the poemw as good. and you managed to
settle it with a consistent tone. but it's
got nothing. it's all cliche, 'boo hoo hoo,
oh .. i love you' -?- and then, the end
just really irritated me. scattered itself,
if anything--i went for its consistence,
but the end bit just broke it off. so, yep.
there'#### honesty. i didnt enjoy it.
muah.

-chris.

Kethry
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since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
12 posted 2002-12-18 03:28 PM


suthern,
loved the hook. Tell you what  - you haunt his dreams and I'll haunt his nightmares that should cover all the bases.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



suthern
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13 posted 2002-12-18 04:34 PM


Salty: Sometimes you’ve got to make the most out of what you can get rather than dwelling on what’s not available. *G* Thank you so much! *S*

christian: I’ve never pretended to appeal to everyone and you’re certainly entitled to your opinion.

Kethry: Poor Toe... and it’s not even Halloween! LOL Thank you, my friend... very much! *S*

Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
14 posted 2002-12-18 04:47 PM


So ya playin' grab ass now gal?...LOL...grab christin or christine or whatever "it" is....oF course if ya do...there will be nothing left?.....Nice write...with a Toerag ending....

[This message has been edited by Toerag (12-18-2002 05:50 PM).]

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
15 posted 2002-12-18 04:50 PM


Great write gal!
Much enjoyed and love the ending! LOL.
~Hugs~

~ Season's Greetings to my 'family' at Passions ~

suthern
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16 posted 2002-12-18 05:00 PM


Toe: Yessir... looks like a mighty fine target to me. *G* Now can you please make the grab a little less distance? Pretty please? LOL I can't imagine greater praise than your assurance the toeragging was successful. *S* Thank you! *S*

Enchantress: Thank you so much... I'm glad you enjoyed! *S*


Marsha
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17 posted 2002-12-18 08:35 PM


Suthern beloved sister of my soul, how can I tell you how utterly first class this is? Not least because it is so incredibly tender, but that hook at the end is absolutely perfect, it brought such a grin, I love it. Its so rare I get the chance to see one of yours beloved one, you know I’m in here far to infrequently, but I’m so glad I got the chance to see this jewel of a poem.

Far too often gems like this fall too quickly down the page and get lost, I am not letting this get lost at all.

Absolutely exquisite writing beloved one, I love it utterly utterly utterly.  


Love and warm stuff
as always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
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18 posted 2002-12-18 08:39 PM


Suthern I absolutely loved this delightful read.  Very well done.  Happy Holidays  
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
19 posted 2002-12-18 08:52 PM



Now I wonder who this was for?

Bill Charles
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highways, & byways, for now
20 posted 2002-12-18 08:54 PM


suthern - you may anytime, but softly, softly...

BC

CocoBaci
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since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

21 posted 2002-12-18 09:40 PM


Suthern, this is precious and soooooooooooo sweet that last line...
Smiles2uPoetFriend
*~coco~*

Mistletoe Angel
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22 posted 2002-12-19 03:31 AM




(sigh) Oh Suthern, this is so gentle and lovely, sweet friend, I wish for true love to always touch your heart and hug you like a butterfly kissing the flowers of spring! (kiss on cheek) This is beautiful, sweet friend, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Suthern, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

23 posted 2002-12-19 03:59 AM



"christian: I’ve never pretended to  
appeal to everyone and you’re certainly
entitled to your opinion."

thats all ive ever wanted someone to say.

muah.

Marsha
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24 posted 2002-12-19 07:01 AM


Suthern beloved one I came back simply because I adore your writing, no one has the ease of style you portray, no one managed to write with so much joi d’vivre. Anyone who can write as well as this and consistently so deserves all the praise I heap upon you

Christian, a little side note, I’m aware that my beloved Suthern is more than capable of dealing with her own affairs, but hopefully she’ll give me the privilege of just mentioning this. This site is a place where we each write in our own way and for not just our own pleasure but others too. Its founding principle, which is clearly stated in the guidelines, is one of tolerance and friendship. If you don’t agree to the rules of play then you really shouldn’t do so. Suthern is one of the few writers whose work is consistently superb. She has both ability and quality, not for Suthern sloppy work that is unacceptable. She has high standards and always maintains them. I know quality, I understand why something is good and why something doesn’t work. The benefits of a quality education, there have to be some you know, so believe me when I state Suthern’s work is not only superb it is exceptional. Just one last thing, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, I’m sure you get my drift


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

[This message has been edited by Marsha (12-19-2002 07:36 AM).]

suthern
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25 posted 2002-12-19 11:47 AM


Marsha: To know I gave you a grin delights me. *S* Thank you so much! *S*

GS: Thank you so much... I’m very glad you liked! *S*

Sunshine: Santa Claus? christian? *G*

Bill: Of course. *G* The rough stuff comes a bit later. LOL Thanks for reading! *G*

Coco: I’d kinda like to put that last line into action. LOL Thank you so much! *S*

M’toe: What a beautiful wish! *S* I thank you very much! *S*

christian: Being entitled to an opinion is NOT an open invitation to share such indiscriminately.

Mushy One: I thank you for the revisit... and the support. *S* I honestly don’t have any problem with someone thinking my work sucks... I think the same of much I read, including many of my own. *G* I do, however,
have a problem with someone insisting on sharing critiques that haven’t been solicited and in doing so, making their introduction to PIP one of rudeness, rather than respect. I get the “seasoning” I need
from a Tabasco bottle, thank you very much. *G*

jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

26 posted 2002-12-19 02:16 PM


ok lady....this is about as perfect as a poem can get....sigh....sigh.....sigh....
ok enough sighing......now rofg@tush

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (12-19-2002 02:16 PM).]

JamesMichael
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27 posted 2002-12-19 06:23 PM


Interesting...James
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
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28 posted 2002-12-20 02:52 PM


LOL...well Ruthie girl...you can always say you were aiming for the heart...blame the rest on being left handed...it works for me   ( or plead the blonde 5th) LOL
love the humor and heart of your cadence!



Will the wind remember the names it has blown in the past?
With this crutch, its old age and wisdom, it whispers no ... this will be the last.

jh

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (12-20-2002 02:52 PM).]

suthern
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29 posted 2002-12-20 05:24 PM


jb: You're GIGGLING at that gorgeous tush? LOL Hmmmm... I wonder 'bout you, gal. *G* Thank you so much... I appreciate you very much. *S*

James: Just a lot of love and a bit of fun. *S*

Janet Marie: I'd have to plead blonde... but aim isn't worth much if you're never within reach!! LOL Thank you very much! *S*

SEA
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with you
30 posted 2002-12-20 05:51 PM


shame on you!! this is so touching and had all the romantic bubbles, then you get naughty....I LOVE IT!!! excellent ending my dear
Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

31 posted 2002-12-20 06:02 PM


Ya had me gettin' all sentimental...then ya cracked me up!  Thanks for the perfect ending!!

The thought of her hands
touching his hair
makes me want to vomit.

Richard Brautigan

suthern
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32 posted 2002-12-23 10:10 AM


SEA: But isn't romance SUPPOSED to be touching and bubbly AND a tad naughty? LOL No wonder I'm still single... I've obviously been doing all the wrong things! LOL Thank you very much, dear lady. *S* It's good to see your name here and I'm so glad you love it! *S*

Duncan: Thank YOU for the perfect response. LOL

hoot_owl_rn
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Glen Hope, PA USA
33 posted 2002-12-23 06:31 PM


ROFL....hey, whatever fits the moment. Nice to see you in this frame of mind
Andrew Scott
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34 posted 2002-12-23 08:25 PM


Ya had me all the way to the very pinch at the "end."  Enjoyable as always.  Peace to you and yours.
Larry C
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35 posted 2002-12-23 08:29 PM


suthern!
Woohoo!!! You had me going, big time. Romantic with a twist...er a pinch.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

neveah5
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since 2002-11-22
Posts 197
Ohio
36 posted 2002-12-24 02:42 AM


Havent we all done this?
take what you can get, thats how it goes sometimes.
touching and very cute

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

37 posted 2002-12-26 07:23 AM


hehe a romantic comedian.... thanks for the laugh Suthern.

Maree

Titia Geertman
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since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
38 posted 2002-12-26 08:02 AM



Suthern, I like your wits, go grab some tushes girl.

And to Christian: like Marsha said, besides this is not the critique forum but even then you have to be kind to people.
If you don't like it, you have a choice not to reply to it! Maybe you're used to the rules on other poetry sites, but here at PIP we respect each persons writings.

Titia


Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Midnitesun
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Gaia
39 posted 2002-12-26 10:41 AM


All tushes are fair game when they get in your face, right? Hehe, grab away.
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
40 posted 2002-12-26 10:46 AM



I'm so very glad to see that
this popped back up to the top!

suthern
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41 posted 2002-12-27 03:30 PM


hoot: It beats the heck out of depression! LOL Thank you very much for stopping by! *S*

Andrew: And the pinch at the end is a pinched end. LOL I'm very glad you liked... it's good to have you back!

Larry: Therein lies the problem... he keeps going - away from me! LOL Thanks so much... glad you liked! *S*

neveah: Thank you very much! *S*

Dark Angel: Glad it gave you a grin. *S*

Titia: Yes, ma'am!!! *G* And now I can always claim I'm just following your instructions! LOL Thank you, lady... for reading, for liking and for the support. *S*

Midnitesun: And what a sight that would be to see. *S* Thank you! *S*

Sunshine: I am truly grateful for the overwhelming (if not universal) response this has been given. *S*


LadySofia
Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238
FL., USA
42 posted 2002-12-31 02:48 AM


This poem had such the verse that only dreams are made of...and then that ending! It really cracked me up. This was simply a flowing, beautiful read, with a bang at the end!

LOVED it...this is going in my library.

Amanda aka LadySofia

Madam, you have bereft me of all words —Shakespeare

suthern
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43 posted 2002-12-31 12:39 PM


LadySofia: I couldn't ask for a greater compliment. *S* Thank you very much... I'm so glad you liked! *S*

Thank you all so very much... And may your new year be a happy one. *S*

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