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Open Poetry #24
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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2002-12-16 08:15 PM



Is there an origin
in other lives shared,
or is it too simple
to call this chance
instead of unresolved desire?


Twisting to You

There must be reasons
for remaining innocent -
this curl of a whirlpool
entwining our roots
into evergreen.

Feel this barefoot path,
there is nothing to catch us,
we’ll sink into its wet bank,
slide into summer's river -
I’ll float, you ripple.

My hands become shy
when you brush against them,
they slide stealthily into silt.

You show me smooth stones
hiding their grainy insides,
round with time, our time
to ride the stream.


© 2002 Core

[This message has been edited by Corinne (12-16-2002 11:48 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2002-12-16 08:22 PM


Corrine, you can certainly lead a man down the right path..I love the images and metaphors you employ here
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

2 posted 2002-12-16 08:23 PM


ohhh, I liked that. Hey! What happened to this smille? It has a little hat! haha. Back to your poem. It created vivid images and intense perspective. You have captured my attention as usual.

Never be normal!

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-12-16 11:33 PM




(smiles) Oh Corinne, this is so lovely, sweet friend, and may the waters always smoothen the shores of your heart! (kiss on cheek) This is special, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Corinne, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2002-12-16 11:44 PM


Very calming thoughts
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2002-12-17 01:24 AM


you do free verse so well, I'm envious
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-12-17 09:42 AM


Feel this barefoot path,
there is nothing to catch us,
we’ll sink into its wet bank,
slide into summer's river -
I’ll float, you ripple.


nice... very nice.... but then again I have come to expect this from you...and have yet to be disappointed...

enjoyed the image and metaphor...

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2002-12-17 10:26 AM


Outstanding, Cor. I love the feel of smooth pebbles in the silt. Excellent metaphors, as usual.
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
8 posted 2002-12-17 11:02 AM


I like the "barefoot path" you painted with your words.....    

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2002-12-17 11:08 AM


Cor,
A very good read, enjoyed.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
10 posted 2002-12-17 04:07 PM


Thank you dear Deer, Wind, Noah, Aenimal, passingshadows, sweet Ron, Midnight, Garysgirl and Sey!

Cor

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
11 posted 2002-12-18 06:08 PM


"unresolved desire"--powerful phrase, excellent write!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2002-12-18 07:28 PM


Corinne

Enjoyed the metaphor of this and you always manage such satisfying endings.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
13 posted 2002-12-18 10:22 PM


Thank you, Sandpaper and Martie!

Cor

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

14 posted 2003-01-15 02:26 PM


Enjoyed the read very very much...
Smiles2uPoetFriend Corinne
*~coco~*

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