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Passions in Poetry

Toerag's Wife's Mishap...reposted for my good friend

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Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 12-16-2002 08:07 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer


Old Toerag's wife gave me a call and said" I'm in a stew!
That bum is somewhere drinking and I need a hand from you.
I had a little accident. The coffee overturned
And splattered on the counter. I'm afraid my face got burned!"

So quickly I rushed over there, soon as I got the call
And said 'Dear girl, I'm taking you straight to the hospital!"
I rushed her to emergency. Her wound was quite severe.
How fortunate that she could call on helpful Balladeer.

The doc said, "That's a nasty burn. It must be 3rd degree.
We have no options, I'm afraid, except for surgery.
We need to do a skin graft where the burn is, on the cheek
Then it should heal nicely, I would think, within a week."

The doc said, "Hey, I know you, son. You're called the Balladeer.
I've heard the women talk about the softness of your rear.
If we could use a little patch to cure Ms. Toerag's burn
I have no doubt her natural appearance would return."

So I agreed. I mean, how in the world could I say no
To help the wife and live-in maid of my good buddy Toe?
The operation went as planned. In one week she was cured
And she stopped by to thank me for the pain I had endured.

She said, "Oh, Mister Balladeer, I'm well because of you.
I wish there were some special thing that I could do for you."
I started laughing so hard it was difficult to speak,
Then said, "Dear, I'm well paid each time Toe plants one on your cheek!!!"

© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


1 posted 12-16-2002 08:11 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

'Deer...you are the storyteller of all time!!
Excellent work here!
Thanks for the chuckles.
~Hugs~

~ Season's Greetings to my 'family' at Passions ~

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


2 posted 12-16-2002 09:06 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman


LOL Deer, you make me laugh every time I see you.

He he poor Toe
He didn't know
He was kissing your sweet behind
With nothing but love on his mind

Titia


Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (12-16-2002 09:06 PM).]

Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


3 posted 12-16-2002 09:33 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel


Dear Balladeer,
You were so kind,
To give Toe's wife,
A piece of your behind.
Now Toe is grateful,
But he thinks its crass
That when he's kissin' his wife,
He's kissin' your ass!
Magnus
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since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


4 posted 12-16-2002 09:40 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

I KNEW IT>>>>  I KNEW IT>..  I knew you were
headed down this path of injustice to our
poor Toe...  You dirty rotten scoundrel...

Psssst....  don't tell Toe that I was
ROTFLMBO after I read this....
Mistletoe Angel
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since 12-17-2000
Posts 34089
City of Roses


5 posted 12-16-2002 10:08 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(smiles) Oh Balladeer, you dirty rotten scoundrel, now you have his wife all tangled up in this! LOL! (big hugggssssss) This is a crack-up, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (12-16-2002 10:09 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


6 posted 12-16-2002 10:12 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

thanks alot now i have to clean a mess, you made me spit my drink out all over the monitor..lol
Skyfire
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since 12-27-2000
Posts 5766
Riding


7 posted 12-16-2002 10:47 PM       View Profile for Skyfire   Email Skyfire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfire

ROFLMBO
Genius! Pure genius!

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


8 posted 12-16-2002 11:07 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Balladeer

Tsk tsk...and ROFLOL..Toe's gonna get you good for this one.
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


9 posted 12-16-2002 11:42 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pilgrimage

I knew it was coming, but it go me anyway. I love it!

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


10 posted 12-17-2002 01:29 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

you are so crazy! How do you come up with this stuff?

my bad mood just left me.
Toerag
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since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


11 posted 12-17-2002 07:47 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Yassee what happens when I let him "loose" for one day?....I come in here, innocently as always, post a serious Christmassy type poem....not one nasty thing to say about the Deer...and this is what I wake up to this morning?....but, since I'm still in the Christmas spirit...I'll just leave this Christmas wish/card for my good pal Balladeer...

May Balladeer go straight to hell
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel.

(And a response will soon follow).
Music Maker
Member
since 07-07-2002
Posts 160
THE ORIGINAL !!!!


12 posted 12-17-2002 08:32 AM       View Profile for Music Maker   Email Music Maker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Music Maker's Home Page   View IP for Music Maker

Hey Guys, what a pleasant way for us to start the day, with a great big grin across our faces - 'Ooohh!, You are so naughty, but I like you'!!  And that was a catch phrase used by a 'Camp' comedian who used to grace the Theatre Hall stage here in England.
Anyway, A Very Happy and PEACEFUL Christmas to you both, and We wish you everything you would wish for yourselves in the Coming New Year.
Sunnyone and Music Maker
(Sunny and John)

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


13 posted 12-17-2002 08:55 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

As many of us prepare to celebrate a Savior's birth
And all of us are joined in prayer that there be peace on earth
We make one small exception - for one place that peace won't be
And that's on PIP; we so enjoy the wars of poetry. *S*

You scoundrel. *G* You've been a bad, bad boy... and Santa would probably bring you switches if he didn't know how much you were hoping for them! LOL
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 05-11-2001
Posts 1682


14 posted 12-17-2002 10:36 AM       View Profile for Decaflame   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Decaflame


A timely repost, I would say.
Chuckling here, thank you, 'Deer.
garysgirl
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since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


15 posted 12-17-2002 10:46 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

(me...laughing)           


Well, ole Ball-deer, you told poor Mr. Toe exactly what you would like him to kiss, didn't you?
You know you're a devil, don't you, doing our Mr. Toe like that......    

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 09-23-2001
Posts 7301
On A Journey To The Unknown


16 posted 12-17-2002 12:38 PM       View Profile for SmartChick   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit SmartChick's Home Page   View IP for SmartChick

I knew I was going to love this one. You are the best story teller.
Salty
Senior Member
since 11-23-2002
Posts 687
Texas


17 posted 12-17-2002 12:44 PM       View Profile for Salty   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Salty

BRAVO......I give this a two thumbs up
ooohweeee...he's going to have a hard time kissing his wife. *S*


~Salty
Midnitesun
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since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


18 posted 12-17-2002 02:27 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

You two are so bad...bet you won't get a single gift for the holidays.
Shaking my head, boys will be boys, my mom used to say.
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 07-25-2000
Posts 9136
Somewhere... out there...


19 posted 12-17-2002 07:15 PM       View Profile for vlraynes   Email vlraynes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit vlraynes's Home Page   View IP for vlraynes


Balladeer~
ROFL!  Gotta love this butt..er..bit of fun. LOL
Thanks for the smile and chuckle.
and
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Wind
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Member Elite
since 10-12-2002
Posts 3185


20 posted 12-17-2002 08:53 PM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

You! do you ever run out of these ideas? Just tell me, where do they come from!

Never be normal!

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 10-12-2002
Posts 3185


21 posted 12-17-2002 08:56 PM       View Profile for Wind   Email Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wind

PhhhHH!!! (spits out a lot of water) I just read these replys! Toerag? Innoccent? thats what they all say Toe.

Never be normal!

Mick Hawkes
Member
since 10-26-2000
Posts 90
Tees-side , England


22 posted 12-28-2002 03:16 PM       View Profile for Mick Hawkes   Email Mick Hawkes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mick Hawkes

LOL.. i suppose toe must be getting used to being the "butt" of ur humor..

Never take life too seriously - None of us gets out alive!

Krystopher Morris
Member
since 11-11-2002
Posts 132
Ancient land called Chivalry


23 posted 12-09-2005 04:03 PM       View Profile for Krystopher Morris   Email Krystopher Morris   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Krystopher Morris

Ya know...for the past two days I've been reading up through the old archives and going through your war poems...these are great, I miss this place...

"Death, so called, is a thing which makes men weep, and yet a third of life is passed in sleep." -Lord Byron

Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


24 posted 12-09-2005 09:09 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Well the archives is a good place to look for these two old buzzards that is for sure!  Just kidding, they don't come better than Balladeer and Toerag.  Great repost Michael, I miss that nutcase bigtime and maybe this will drag his butt here to play with us, who knows?

By the way, your war poems ARE fabulous and I know a ton of seniors will vouch for that statement too.
 
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