The better part of thirty years
I had a monkey on my back.
Robbing me of both joy and tears,
And giving nothing back.
‘Spent years trying to shake it loose,
And more letting it drag me down.
I spent years dangling in a noose
Tightened of my own renown.
Without strength to set myself free,
I found it easy to spurn hope;
Living but to feed the monkey
At the other end of my rope.
Worn and tired, weak and numb,
Questioning the will to survive…
I closed my eyes to the cumbersome
But somehow woke up alive!
I shot up enough to drop a horse,
But God didn’t let me die.
He set my life to a new course –
It’s not mine to question why.
Some cringe at the word “miracle,”
It’s there some lines of faith are drawn.
But I woke up May eighth by God’s will
With the monkey on my back gone.
Addiction’s not that easily dropped,
Not the cycles it feeds from.
And it’s been temptation has not stopped,
Still I have not succumb.
So friends, I know just where you’ve been,
And where you think you’ll never be…
But by God’s strength I stand before you, clean!
By His grace and mercy, free!