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Passions in Poetry

The Dawning of the Son

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Freely_expressing
Member
since 10-16-2008
Posts 69
NSW, Australia


0 posted 10-16-2008 02:59 AM       View Profile for Freely_expressing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Freely_expressing

High above the lonely suburbs
I stand there, alone, and look out
No trees, no life, not even birds
No noise except my silent shout
All but streetlights extinguish
The darkness falls like a mask
Hiding the earths face of anguish
“Why all the suffering?” I ask

But nobody hears, nobody cares
My questions die on my lips
Because no one else is there
I’m reading from unwritten scripts
This song is my own, none other’s
I sing to ease pain on this earth
The pain of my sisters and brothers
Only I see a melody’s worth

I reach out my hands to this world
Hands scarred by a fight I must win
In those hands a baton still twirls
But rejected love rages within
Conducting for blinded musicians
I have hardly begun to achieve
The greatest of my great ambitions
To bring hope to those who still grieve

But as I watch hope ignites
A blade of brilliant light appears
Piercing the heart of this night
Will they finally notice the tears?
The sunrise, like avenging fire
Blazes across distant sky
My voice soars higher and higher
Hoping someone will hear my cry

The cry of a heart that bleeds
For those who I cannot protect
I need more than fingered prayer beads
I need something more like respect
How to give what is not wanted?
To heal those who admit no pain?
Despite all this, I am undaunted
One day I will remove this stain
The world will sing in harmony
When I finally succeed
Like ebony and ivory
All races renouncing their greed
The Fallen One - my greatest foe
Spreads dissonance like disease
But pain will reach a crescendo
And bring Him to his knees

When all have the seen the truth of life
And heard the last cadence
The truth will cut them like a knife
Only suffering awaits them hence
So on I sing to those still deaf
With my persecuted choir
I see only one option left
To save them all from fire

So I play the painful concerto
To succeed in my ultimate goal
It was written for me alone
And played to make the broken whole
My voice was broke, harsh as I wept
I spread my arms and bowed my head
But the power of love I had still kept
I died, but am no longer dead

Now all required for them to gain
The priceless joy of release
Is that they hear my note of pain
And help complete my masterpiece
Then on that day when mortals fade
They will escape the righteous wrath
Of him to whom they humbly prayed
And wisely chose the narrow path

© Copyright 2008 Ben Crow - All Rights Reserved
Songbird
Member Elite
since 12-15-1999
Posts 2211
California


1 posted 10-22-2008 08:17 PM       View Profile for Songbird   Email Songbird   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Songbird's Home Page   View IP for Songbird

I really enjoyed reading this, it flowed so smoothly. Normally I have such a short attention span that I have a hard time reading a long piece but this kept me reading.  God Bless You!
Jrocc
New Member
since 10-28-2008
Posts 7
Australia, Vic


2 posted 10-30-2008 01:23 AM       View Profile for Jrocc   Email Jrocc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jrocc

Wow! Your poem touches the issues that many christians inflicted upon them, we have the answer, but no one wants to hear it.

This was honestly a great read, and a masterpiece that must be heard.

Learn and let go of the past, but don't make it your future.

Tom Zart
Senior Member
since 05-18-2006
Posts 680


3 posted 11-01-2008 01:10 AM       View Profile for Tom Zart   Email Tom Zart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tom Zart

You are out of your mind and that makes
for a good poet nice work give us more.

Tom Zart
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


4 posted 11-02-2008 03:12 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

How you've brought to light that emotion of sadness when one bursts with fantastic news, loved ones don't seem to care about.  On a deeper level, that fantastic news was aquired by paying the steepest, most painful price and people still don't seem moved by it.  Yes, imagine the glorious day when all become fully aware!  This piece is incredible!  Thanks for sharing it here.

God bless,
  Rae
Freely_expressing
Member
since 10-16-2008
Posts 69
NSW, Australia


5 posted 11-03-2008 05:37 AM       View Profile for Freely_expressing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Freely_expressing

Thank you all so much for your comments! Really appreciate them as I often seem to remain unread. Hehe, oh well. Few things that I have tried to edit that are annoying me. Like the random connection of two verses. Anyway I'm thankful you can appreciate the message behind my Poem I"ll have to check out all your posts!
God bless you all!
jjbreunig3
Member
since 07-29-2009
Posts 272
Maine, USA


6 posted 07-31-2009 10:05 AM       View Profile for jjbreunig3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit jjbreunig3's Home Page   View IP for jjbreunig3

A lovely write; however, it seems that you need another stanza to "tie back" to this poem's title - obvious Christ is the son of Whom you're writing and it should end with Him. --Joe

Logic, when applied to people, fails miserably! --Joseph J. Breunig 3rd

booky1940!
Member
since 04-16-2009
Posts 64
Canada


7 posted 08-14-2009 10:31 AM       View Profile for booky1940!   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for booky1940!

I think this is quite a good poem - as it hardly left anything uncovered therein. Hence, I might be spoiled for choice - but I'm more for the last verse - baring down on the three last lines of it. Keep on writing - you're blessing many souls.
Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 06-14-2000
Posts 4792
California


8 posted 09-24-2009 11:30 AM       View Profile for Lighthousebob   Email Lighthousebob   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Lighthousebob's Home Page   View IP for Lighthousebob

I enjoyed your whole, the rhyme, the flow of your concerto and especially that it expressed a wonderfully deep and caring heart for the hurting.

Thank you for sharing and God bless,

-Bob

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