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greeneggs-n-ham
Junior Member
since 2007-06-05
Posts 14


0 posted 2007-06-06 07:50 PM



I wrote this yesterday, literally in about 5 min. If igured that, for 5 min poetry, it was good enough to be worthy of sharing. Watcha think?

Control
My mind is spinning
My head is swirling
My vision is blurring
I’m loosing control

My heart is pounding
My emotions are churning
My insides are burning
I’m out of control

My life is swinging
My sanity is raging
My war is waging
I cant find control

My foolishness is hiding
My soul is crying
My pride is dying
I can’t have control

My faith is arising
My fire is lighting
My joy is igniting
I give Him control

© Copyright 2007 greeneggs-n-ham - All Rights Reserved
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
1 posted 2007-06-06 08:47 PM


wonderful transition in last verse. Joyce
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
2 posted 2007-06-06 11:17 PM


If only this could really happen in 5 minutes, wouldn't it be wonderful?  I love the poem.


   Rae

Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
3 posted 2007-06-07 03:33 AM







greeneggs-n-ham,

Big Smiles!!! You are a most delightful rhyme maker. Your name doesn't happen to be Sam??? You know... Sam I am... Forgive me… I grew up reading and adoring Dr. Seuss… well, I still do.

Anyway, I'm very happy that you've returned.  

Understanding that your poem was written in five minutes gave me a better understanding as to why it appeared so rough. Other than that, I thought that the thought or the journey that the poem made from beginning to end was quite complex and I thought that you led us through the complexity of expressing "not my will but Your will be done" quite well.

God bless and Welcome back!!!

-Bob



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