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Guilt vs. Shame
| Spiritual Journeys #2 |
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Guilt vs. Shame |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States 
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Guilt vs. Shame By Larry Chadwick A piece on wisdom on April Fools Day I’m relieved to know that there is not a guru somewhere on a mountain that holds all the secrets to life and I never found him. Even more satisfying to me is to know that any of your friends may hold a gem of wisdom that can change your life. Just such a gem was recently shared with me. “Shame is the devil’s substitute for guilt.” Because I have known shame so intimately in my life I argued with her about her gem. But she would not be moved and I abandoned the argument. Then I spent the next month unable to ignore her gem. Guilt is an emotion that is intended to plague our conscience. Typically, for obvious reasons, it is related to poor moral choices. Should we listen to the code of our conscience we are then spurred into action. The earlier we act the easier it is to change our behavior pattern. First, guilt causes us to acknowledge that our behavior is wrong. Second, it causes us to seek forgiveness for our actions from those we have wronged. Third, guilt compels us to cease that behavior. Fourth, because of guilt we find ourselves in right standing with our conscience and in our relationships. Fifth, the outcome of acting on our guilt leads us to a better path of behavior. And in all five steps we have acted with humility thinking most about how our life effects our relationships. Should we choose to ignore the guilt that our conscience plagues us with then there is a significantly different outcome. Shame is an emotion that is driven by pride. It is sinister because it parades itself in our heart as guilt. When our poor moral choices have continued past the signals of our conscience then shame subtly substitutes itself for guilt. First, because of shame we deny. Second, in our shame we begin keeping secrets. Third, shame leaves us to continue in our poor moral choices. Fourth, through shame we ignore the impact of our decision on our relationships. Fifth, shame persuades us we will stop our behavior even though we know we cannot. And the driving force in all five steps is our pride. Pride is the most self-centered of all traits. It serves first and only itself. Guilt versus shame. We can acknowledge our behavior or deny it. We can seek forgiveness or keep it secret. We can stop our behavior or continue it. We can heal our relationships or not. And we can move on to a moral life or pretend we will. But in the final analysis ignoring guilt can only lead to shame and pride will eventually reap its reward, humiliation. Like all substitutes shame is ultimately void of substance. Guilt, however, leads to humility and healing. Humiliation versus humility. It seems like such an obvious choice. How grateful I am for the wisdom of my friend. April 1, 2007 If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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| © Copyright 2007 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I truly believe that nothing can be kept secret...forever. Truth outs, whether we are here to acknowledge it or not. This, I know, as fact. This is indeed a "gem" of thought, provoking and inspiring. Thank you, Larry, for sharing such words. |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Great insight. I've never seen it quite like this. It is a gem. Thanks for sharing. Rae |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Larry~ 'to know that any of your friends may hold a gem of wisdom that can change your life' And you, my friend, have generously shared the gem with others~ Impacting another's life with such a thought-provoking penning ... is a gracious gift~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Karilea, Thank you and I couldn't agree more. I do believe we cannot hide the truth of ourselves no matter how hard we try. sandgrain, Thanks for your kind words. It is certainly a new concept to me. Marge, And oddly enough it isn't always something we want to hear or even agree with. But God has His methods of getting a message into our hearts. Thank you. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I liked the part we can keep it secret or seek forgiveness...james |
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