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Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States

0 posted 2004-08-02 03:32 PM



Forgiven or Not
By Larry Chadwick
For what it's worth


Un-forgiven. I don’t ever want to be un-forgiven. It is a terrible burden to bear. Sometimes it is even harder to understand. An incident, perhaps not clearly perceived, that blooms when out of perspective. Time passes but rather than fading it grows worse. Eventually the “incident” seems to take on a life of its own. And everybody seems to have an opinion about what happened. Regardless, all parties remain un-forgiven. And time does not help as many claim it should.

There was a time when I believed in the “door mat” theory. The “peace-at-any-price” approach to life. But I was shocked to find that was not a biblical theory. It is an approach that sacrifices your dignity. Respect is eventually replaced by resentment. And instead of maintaining a relationship it perverts the relationship. One party has all the power and the other has none. A sure breeding ground for becoming un-forgiven.

That does not mean that time never helps. Because it certainly can be of value. Time and distance can be instruments of healing. But only where seeds of forgiveness can be found. Those seeds can only be found in your own heart. And they only grow if they are sown and then nurtured. Sometimes efforts are made to uproot them. But they can grow in foreign soil if nurtured faithfully. Though some patience is required.

There is an intimidating factor in gift giving. When offered it may be refused. If the gift you wish to share is forgiveness where did it come from. Well, it is a gift of love. And all love comes from our heavenly father. It is in studying him that we learn about the heretofore misunderstood.

So do you prefer the grudge and control? Or are you truly interested in forgiveness. God decided to pursue forgiveness for us. It turned out to be a huge job. He had a lot of people with a lot of sins that needed to be forgiven. But after he offered them forgiveness there was a step many refused, rejected or had no interest in. That step included remorse and a change in their behavior. And it isn’t just for a person who was being forgiven by God. It applies in our personal relationships as well.

Forgiveness in fact is offered by one individual to another. Most assume to accept it is enough. Though some are unwilling because they prefer bearing their grudge. It provided a satisfaction of its own. Forgiveness requires a response. What is your response? We must recognize the response that completes forgiveness. It is certainly in the bible. After you accept forgiveness it is your obligation to return good will. To participate in the healing of the relationship and to initiate some forgiveness of your own as both parties are almost always at fault.

September 23, 2003

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

© Copyright 2004 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

1 posted 2004-08-03 04:09 PM


Forgiveness is the cornerstone of love - its a beautiful and often painful thing.

Good reminder

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
2 posted 2004-08-03 05:29 PM


Larry-
A very logical and correct perception. I liked to read this. It spoke to me a lot.
Thank You for posting it.


Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
3 posted 2004-08-03 08:05 PM


Copperbell,
You are so right. And thanks for reading.

Kellie,
Thanks. I stumbled accross it the other day and didn't even remember it.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

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