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Spiritual Journeys #2
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C_ROK06
Junior Member
since 2003-10-23
Posts 49


0 posted 2003-10-27 07:36 PM


We are set apart from this world we live in
Me and my friends, never again
Never will we listen to what others say
Never will we be embarrassed by the music we play

I don't care what they think of us
I don't care what they think they know
For I know the truth
And I've got to let it show

Show them what I believe
Show them what is right
Show them the truth
Show them the light

What I do here matters
In times to come
What I do here matters
Can't stand by and act dumb

I have to help them
Those that are lost
I have to help them
And bring them to the cross

© Copyright 2003 C_ROK06 - All Rights Reserved
C_ROK06
Junior Member
since 2003-10-23
Posts 49

1 posted 2003-10-27 07:37 PM


-This is actually the first poem i ever wrote back in the 8th grade. Not that i'm much older, 10th grade and all. haha. I like what the poem is about, but my writing style has changed a lot since then, so to me... all the rhyming sounds awkward to me. what do you guys think?

" So let us then try to climb the mountain, not by stepping on what is below us, but to pull us up at what is above us, for my part at the stars; amen

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
2 posted 2003-10-27 10:07 PM


It's always a good thing to make a stand for what you know is right. It's not always the popular thing, but if it's right it's right. Nothing can change that. I admire, and applaud you!
Love,
Terri~

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
3 posted 2003-10-27 10:25 PM


I like it as it reads.  Of course, I am a rhyming poet and you might like to hear what non-ryhmers have to say.  To me it is very effective as is!

Betty Lou Hebert

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2003-10-28 01:23 AM


I have to agree, you got the point across nicely but if your writing is growing and changing you tend to be more critical of your own work.  I liked it and the message.
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

5 posted 2003-10-28 08:55 AM


I have to help them
Those that are lost
I have to help them
And bring them to the cross.

This is what it's all about. helping, and when we do, we help in ways we don't even know about. But he does, and this is what will feed hope for the future.

poe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

earthdust
Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 53
predestined and foreknown
6 posted 2003-10-29 08:13 AM


very nice! i enjoyed greatly!

ye are the salt of the earth...
ye are a city on a hill that cannot be hid. no man lights a candle and hides it under a bushel, but puts it on a stand, so that it brings light to all that are in the house.let your light so shine before men that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father which is in heaven.
-Jesus

whispering wind
Junior Member
since 2003-08-18
Posts 45

7 posted 2003-10-29 06:40 PM


This is really good especially since you wrote it so young. I liked how it flowed. Very good job and thanks for sharing
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2003-11-01 12:42 PM




(smiles) I understand this feeling ever so much, sweet friend, when many are young, they don't understand the greatness of His love because it sounds kind of abstract and many are mislead by His greatness but as time goes by then everyone can understand just what is good! (big hugggssssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is a wonderful first poem, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Victoria, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (11-01-2003 12:42 AM).]

C_ROK06
Junior Member
since 2003-10-23
Posts 49

9 posted 2003-11-01 09:07 PM


thanx a lot u guyz. I really enjoy all the feedback everyone here gives me... it always gives me the courage to continue in my writting. thanx so much. God Bless -vik

"So let us then try to climb the mountain,not by stepping on what is below us,but to pull us up at what is above us,for my part at the stars;amen"-MCE

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