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Encarta
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 101
My homeland is not of the world

0 posted 2003-01-30 08:15 PM

After litterly months of working on this thing off and on, it's finally done. This has to be longest I've ever worked on a poem. It's my second poem in this format.
The Star,
By, matthew hohne

A star shines bright
Into the night
showing us the way

Those who are fit
to follow it
are led to the bed of hay

Where a baby rests
inside the nest
behold the father's son.

Few knew
or had a clue
of what had just begun

They gave him myrrh
to refer
to his future death

Oh, the sacrifice he'll make
and the shame he'll take
to save our sinful breath

But the star shines bright
Into the night
To show the world this place

For this child will grow
and someday he'll show
God's loving grace.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

1 posted 2003-01-31 01:01 AM

congratulations on a job well done. Joyce

Dr Pepper Freak
Member

since 2003-01-30

Posts 72
CA

2 posted 2003-01-31 06:22 AM

Times seems to have paid off on this piece. It is truly remarkable! Maybe it's just the band member in me, but I found myself singing along with it the second time around. Hope to read more from you soon!

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. ~ Lena Horne

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

3 posted 2003-01-31 11:09 AM

Nice Poem. I'm always up for a personal challenge and this format you've used here seems like a good one for me to try. I like how you kept yourself and keep your reader focused here on a certain period of time... The infancy of Christ, when the star first appeared, and then how you show how occurences during Christ's early years foreshadow his very death on the cross. Very nicely done. I think the extra time that you spent on this one paid off, but I hope that your next poem doesn't take so very long because I know that I would like to read more of your poems real soon.

GOD bless. -Bob

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2003-01-31 02:37 PM

Superb writing, and it was truly time well spent. I too found a certain lyrical quality to this as I read out loud and soon found myself almost humming it. Great work, and your choice of words was excellent too.

~ The soul lies buried in ink that does not flow ~

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2003-01-31 07:50 PM

(sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is wonderful and lights the page like the star from the east that guided the wise men to baby Jesus! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, this brought a warm glow to my heart, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet James, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

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