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Open Poetry #23
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Understanding My sentence
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Understanding My sentence |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I am but a comma In your life. A pause Placed strategically For effect, as you Scan another line Searching for what Lies inside each space Or letter left hanging I do not end for you As does the finality Of a single dot Nor do I excite As in exclaimed stop Of breathed passion Just a line break Broken on this Page [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (12-13-2002 10:26 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Actually, Ron, I'd say you're more of a "..." for me since your reads are much more than simple page breaks, and that's what makes the "readtrip" interesting... -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah, the strategically placed comma. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
mark.. thank you sunshine... thank you |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
this is like a number 2 pencil straight out of the sharpener.....even though unspoken, it is full of possibilities......great write |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat, Symbolically correct, enjoyed. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Now Capt. Ron, you get the reader thinking on this one. That's a very good thing, you know.  "Love makes the world go around" |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
"Understanding My Sentence" "I do not end for you" Does this mean you're a lifer?  Just being silly! Sorry, it could mean many things. Very interesting and re-read many times trying to 'get it'....and I'll probably read it a few more times. That is what I like about your writing. Warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I'm glad it will take more than one reading to fully digest this one. I've got this in my editing pile, rereads required. |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
contextual silence. ...a pause and change in the flow of information. ...the difference in tones when various Your an important piece to the puzzle I would say. Even if your not the finality. A most creative write! ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
JB... like a No2 soft lead... yeah. Thanks Sy.. thank you sir. garysgirl... thinking can hurt and making sense out of somethings is just too much trouble. thanks for stopping by! Pat.. thank you ma'am... glad you liked Midnight... it could probably use a good edit.. glad you enjoyed Salty... what piece of the puzzle one is depends on how you read this... it isn't my writing that fits the pieces, it's the pieces that fit in our lives... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very clever, yes. I never would have imagined that. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I've always enjoyed dangling participles. |
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Drifter New Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 9Arkansas, U.S. |
This poem was like a good trip (without the bad taste of shrooms mind you). |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I am but a comma In your life. A pause Placed strategically For effect, as you Scan another line Searching for what Lies inside each space Or letter left hanging =============================== some people dont see the big picture even when its spelled out for them.... enjoyed reading between your lines poet sir  It's so nice |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
passing shadows... thank you... glad you dropped in Midnight.. I used to know what that meant ( chuckling) Drifter.. ( laughing) wouldn't want to leave a bad taste in your mouth JM.... no some people wouldn't... thanks for understanding the between the lines |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I do not end for you As does the finality Of a single dot We begin and we end with ourself in a sense. But your poetry reads with an exclamation every single time! So Nice~ |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
We all heed a break sometimes. Enjoyed |
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Diane Coway Member
since 2002-08-01
Posts 61USA |
Enjoyed the read. Breaks in writing...if done properly can make all the difference in the world to how one perceives what is read. thanks. Coway |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
but..without the punctuation..it makes little sense--enjoyed! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
read this poem quickly, but right off the lung, onto the tongue, this: i hate rules, always rebellious to an extent, punctuation included, would pass any spelling/grammar test l00percent, but find it all confining |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Read this one: You are a writer of insight and intelligence. |
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