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Open Poetry #23
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2002-12-12 09:30 AM



At turn of bend
where white water runs
with noisy swooshing roar
the boulders lie closer
to the center
spreading the deep
in layers of churn.

One can run this
if the left side is held
and firm hand used
for quick turn
avoiding upturned remnant of tree
that now lies supine
the length of bank.

But, I would rather
walk the boat down
so I  can enjoy the sounds
and stop to fish just below
the maddest part of rush.

Here...
immersed in rainbows of mist
the rest of the world
ceases to exist

© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-12-12 09:35 AM


Cpat,
Here...
immersed in rainbows of mist
the rest of the world
ceases to exist

There are many paths to the same place. Enjoyed

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2002-12-12 09:42 AM


This for me, would be a perfect day!--so in tune with nature, so in tune with the beat of my own drum!
I loved this fine piece of writing from a very fine poet!

~ Dear Captain, may your journey through life be as beautiful as this poem...

EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (12-12-2002 09:42 AM).]

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-12-12 09:43 AM



Ron,

No idea how times you plan on revising this, for it is perfect to me.

I like:

"with noisy swooshing roar"

and so much more...you take us right there.

Especially like the ending:

"Here,
immersed in rainbows of mist
the rest of the world
ceases to exist"

A nice place to be.... Enjoyed much.


Warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2002-12-12 09:49 AM


Sy..thank you. Yes there are manyw ays to get to that place in our mind. This was always one of my favorite ways..

EA... a perfect day...yes in many ways. Getting lost in the river, the rocks and the sounds. I wish for you dear friend the same.

pat... how many times I intend to revise.. ( laughing) many never live long enough for revisions at all, when one does manage to avoid my habit of deleting, it in some ways gets revised everytime I look at it. NOW honestly... I try not to look at them very often so I don't get the urge to delete them. ( chuckling) This one however... well it reminds me of a day and a time that are special to me, so it has managed to survive.

thanks all for reading and commenting. I dug this one out in part for Corinne who seems to think I need to cheer up a bit. This one does.

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (12-12-2002 09:59 AM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2002-12-12 10:00 AM


Here...
immersed in rainbows of mist
the rest of the world
ceases to exist


Can you tell me where "Here" is?
I like that place.
M

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-12-12 10:06 AM


Yep.... Here in this case was the lower Niangua below Bennet springs on a hot summer day... wasn't alone but at this moment I was as the other fellow I was fishing with had other interest in places to fish..

HERE... is that place that does not exist except in the moments of finding peace, lettin git all go... in just absorbing the energy around you and erasing your own ego...


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2002-12-12 10:23 AM



Fishing again, yes?  
Not what I expected from the title,
but then I've come to expect
the unexpected from you ~
always.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2002-12-12 10:26 AM


(chuckling) Expect the unexpected? Hmmm... I am actually quite predictable. A fishing memory... just a time and place I ran across this morning and rather than write what ws in my head..edited this one and posted it. This is a much better place to be than what I was thinking of writing... the title... it is an ending to the world around you... at least for the seconds or minutes you can find those places..


Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2002-12-12 10:35 AM


Can I sit by the mists with you? I'm tired of traipsing over boulders.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

10 posted 2002-12-12 10:38 AM


Sure.. pull up a rock and have a seat.. only problem is my friend, we all have to climb over boulders to get to such spots and we all have to leave them eventually. Part of the process I guess... still, in those moments of time and space when we find such peace and the world does cease to exist for us... we can understand a lot about ourselves by simply letting it all go...
but for now.. sit and rest... enjoy the sounds...

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (12-12-2002 10:39 AM).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2002-12-12 10:51 AM


Ron

Fishing is always a good excuse to go somewhere and appreciate the beauty of nature and be alone with your thoughts.  Hmmm, must be why I love to fish.  Thanks for reposting this!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2002-12-12 10:53 AM


Welcome Martie.. I know you understand and know what it is to lose yourself in such places..


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2002-12-13 03:15 AM


Excellent writing...James
Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
14 posted 2002-12-13 04:44 AM


Whew!  I thought the sky was falling, glad to see it just rested in a peaceful place for awhile--enjoyed!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
15 posted 2002-12-13 08:10 AM


a simple pleasure for you, as we talked about.....yes, but spare the little fishy.......they feel too
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
16 posted 2002-12-13 09:47 AM


Every single line of this poem is incredible. A song of nature...truly splendid.
Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

17 posted 2002-12-13 02:15 PM


You do this kind of poetry quite well, Cpat. Write on.


Sunkissed.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

18 posted 2002-12-19 01:00 PM


You have some Hemingway in you, I see.
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