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Weakness
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Weakness |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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She calls me her willing weakness when I find her evening warm. Dissipates within my voice (syllables are but one form). My words find her out of sorts in tones I cannot express. She destroys my well-planned verse -- she is also my weakness. |
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| © Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I see you dont stay focused well... last two lines are key here in my opinion |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
...as long as it's mutual. |
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nicolecruz Junior Member
since 2002-12-11
Posts 16 |
the feeling of this poem is pleasantly disturbing. although the last line is mildly distracting, it seems to me that this was exactly what you intended. nice job illustrating the destructive powers of infatuation and the disruption they incite. |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Sounds like love to me. Nice write. Sunkissed. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Disturbing? Destructive? You got it right, Sunkissed. And so did you, Ron.  MikeyDistraction |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Not so distracting that you couldn't write this gem! Like it very much Mike.  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
in awe again... |
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