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Open Poetry #23
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Cpat Hair
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0 posted 2002-12-10 01:35 PM


Between
The lines of your words
And the empty flush of eyes
Lies the wasteland where
you exile thoughts of me.

No timed sentence
With pardon
Just separations of
Faith and this state
That answers to no law
But your own


Borders guarded
With sharp tongued splits of word
Vintage,
yet still lethal,
allow no escape

So I search
blank spaces
And silence
For refuge
And meaning


© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

1 posted 2002-12-10 01:44 PM


Wow. I really loved the comparisons you made, the imagery. A wonderful poem.

Kielo

I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing.

Cpat Hair
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2 posted 2002-12-10 02:00 PM


thanks Keilo... glad you liked!

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-12-10 02:07 PM




Like the title and the second stanza.
I found this a painful read.

Well written is the least I can say.
Very touching and must be a sad, frustrating way for someone to live.
Again, thoughts of the second stanza prompt that remark. If this is layered I am not bright enough to see it. Which is okay with me, I felt it!
(Actually, I did not look for layering)

Interesting write, seems very well crafted. Enjoyed reading it.

Warm regards, Pat

PS...thanks for remarks on last poem. I've thought about that poem and am "getting it" by applying 'faces' and considering many sides of a personality, which works for me, no matter the intent. That is what I like about poetry when I can apply to self and 'use it' personally.

thanks.....


  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2002-12-10 02:07 PM


Incredible.....the way you define a relationship.......incredible write Sir Cpat *curtsies in reverance*
Cpat Hair
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5 posted 2002-12-10 02:13 PM


pat.. sorry if the read was painful.. it is probably one that should have gone into another forum as it is a bit heavy..
thanks for the reply and your thoughts.

JB... incredible is word I wouldn't use to describe this or anything I write, but it is nice to  hear someone else say them. Thank you.. though the word and compliment are not deserved by me.

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-12-10 02:15 PM


Greetings from Siberia...

just a little smile?

(seems I've been sent there too.)

Cpat Hair
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7 posted 2002-12-10 02:20 PM


Ser, pull up an ice cube and warm yourself...
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-12-10 02:30 PM


Cpat Hair
With a sting like a killer bee, enjoyed.

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2002-12-10 02:31 PM


So I search
blank spaces
And silence
For refuge
And meaning

~*~

Understanding THIS
with more than
a glance.

Cpat Hair
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10 posted 2002-12-10 02:34 PM


Sy... think I sting too much of late? Perhaps I should change the tone of my writing a bit..it is after all supposed to be a joyous season...and here I am writing things that sting.. I'll have to remind myself to try and write something a whole lot lighter... thanks for dropping in Sy.
Sunshine... a passing glance is all that is needed. Thanks for dropping in...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2002-12-10 02:42 PM


Between
The lines of your words
And the empty flush of eyes
Lies the wasteland where
you exile thoughts of me.


No timed sentence
With pardon
Just separations of
Faith
and this state
That answers to no law
But your own

================================

damn...........


~~~~~~~~
Long before your rusted chains--
busted walls, barbed wire cage tried to hold me down ...
Time was just a fist of change tossed in the water just in case you ever came around.

Pardon me if I appear
To see beyond the now and here
Try to save myself
I'm not the kind to pin the blame
But I can't take more on the same
Living on your shelf

I could lose myself
I could curse like hell
But I've lost the will to even try
If you ever doubt
Listen to the sound...no lies
This is my last goodbye.

Last Goodbye
Noah Hunt/Kenny Wayne Sheppard Band

Cpat Hair
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12 posted 2002-12-10 02:44 PM


JM.. damn? or damned? (smiling)

thanks to you for dropping by..


Midnitesun
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Gaia
13 posted 2002-12-10 02:46 PM


Exiled moments allow us time to put it all into perspective.
Thank you for sharing your exile.

Cpat Hair
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14 posted 2002-12-10 02:47 PM


an interesting comment MS... indeed.. ( smiling)

thanks for dropping by...

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

15 posted 2002-12-10 03:03 PM


Stick to the shadows, blend with the crowd, keep moving......'tis a solitary existence. Enjoyed
Cpat Hair
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16 posted 2002-12-10 03:07 PM


RS it is indeed... good advice...
thanks for dropping in and reading..

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2002-12-10 03:12 PM


JM.. damn? or damned?
=================
*smiling at your clever wit*
mothyme thinks its both....

the write is damn impressive...
the inspire damned oppressive.

(which is why we have moth anthems like I left for ya)

Cpat Hair
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18 posted 2002-12-10 03:26 PM


JM... no wit on my part unless it be a half..which I am called by those who have to spend time around me.. ( smiling)


MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
19 posted 2002-12-10 04:39 PM


I've visited a parallel plane to the one you describe and remember its vistas quite well, for the walls around the perimeter are made of the most transparent glass and serve to cause contusions when trying to leave its borders...

-MVS

"AS ABOVE SO BELOW"

Cpat Hair
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20 posted 2002-12-10 04:41 PM


Mark... such places are impossible to describe unless one has been there themselves. I appreciate your insight...

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
21 posted 2002-12-10 07:43 PM


Ron

"So I search
blank spaces
And silence
For refuge
And meaning"

There is a negative space that interacts with all things...it is what brings meaning many times, to what is too harsh, sometimes even peace.

Cpat Hair
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22 posted 2002-12-10 07:46 PM


martie.. kind of like anti-matter, ( smiling)

thanks for the wisdom...and the heartfelt caring...

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
23 posted 2002-12-11 09:48 AM


Another POWER-FILLED piece!
Pain, yes, but cathartic lines.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
24 posted 2002-12-11 02:09 PM




(sigh) And it can seem like a pilgrimage indeed, as you are in an exodus from your place, and until you solve the puzzle you feel you're never home again and in your own religion at that time! (big hugggssssss) This is marvelous, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
25 posted 2002-12-11 02:19 PM


sounds as though you are trying to find someone else inside this person that shows only a blank face to the world. Someone without feeling or ackowledgment of others, and doesn't seem to care.  I don't know  if you can ever reach the unreachable...and not sure you would want to.

You did a fantastic job with this write of yours.


~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Cpat Hair
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26 posted 2002-12-11 02:25 PM


VAS.. thanks for the read.. some writes are cathartic indeed

Noah.. thanks my friend for the insights and thoughts. they are always appreciated

Salty... you are not supposed to look so close you know... you might see things you aren't supposed to. ( smiling)

Thanks to you all... the comments are appreciated..


Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
27 posted 2002-12-11 11:34 PM


Cpat - Ron, right? Hmmm, now. Am I going to have to beg you to write something happy and/or silly again? I don't mind, but I worry about you!

Corinne (your friend, 'ya know)

Cpat Hair
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28 posted 2002-12-11 11:38 PM


Corrine.... now how worried can you be? Toe asked you to marry him didn't he? Oh wait...that is worrisom in itself.. never mind...

thanks for looking in... I'm fine Corrine...

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
29 posted 2002-12-11 11:43 PM


Borders guarded
With sharp tongued splits of word

Excellent words and images all around but this was my favourite. Very much enjoyed!


raph

Cpat Hair
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30 posted 2002-12-11 11:44 PM


Thanks Raph... appreciate you dropping in to read... Those words in particular well they just seemed to fit the thought
thanks again'

fishop
Member
since 2002-09-13
Posts 79
ohio
31 posted 2002-12-12 12:01 PM


Powerfull works for me.  

With sharp tongued splits of word
Vintage,
yet still lethal,

loved that.   Very nice thanks for sharing



ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
32 posted 2002-12-13 05:30 AM


This is a well crafted poem even though down and bleak....great perspective and creative writing!
Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
33 posted 2002-12-13 07:09 AM


tried to find something in "blank" once--there was nothing--you describe it perfectly, enjoyed!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

bsquirrel
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34 posted 2002-12-19 01:07 PM


That's always rough.
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