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EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

0 posted 2002-12-09 10:51 AM

I am a human being.

I dont particularly enjoy being a human, and I'm telling you that with utmost honesty.

What the hell is going on here, guys?

No, really. Enlighten me. Dont give me any of that God crap either.

I'm tired of pretending I know something I dont.

I'm tired of pretending.

I'm tired of beating around the [edited by moderator] bush.

I am a [edited by moderator] human being.

This is so confusing, guys.

No words you say to me can change that. Sure, hit me the sting of your light and carefree joy and humor. (You still dont know anything, do you?)

Why?

You and I have not the capacity.

There is noone. Yea theres noone.

Dont insult my intelligence.

I will tell you my hunch. Not what I know. It's just a hunch.

My hunch is that everything WILL be SO beautiful after we die. We are ALL going to die one day, you know. You better start thinking about that, and stop running from that cruel, chilling fact.

"Everything is going to be alright."

Godamnit. That is all I have! That is what keeps me sane. That is the fuel that runs this pathetic mortal specimen whose ramblings you are reading at this moment.

Maybe you dont think about it that much.

Well, I THINK ABOUT IF EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF MY LIFE!! I THINK ABOUT DEATH!! I THINK ABOUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN THIS BODY I HAVE WILL NO LONGER BE!!! I DONT WANT TO DIE GODAMN YOU!

SHAME ON YOU!

SHAME ON ALL OF YOU

"Everything is going to be alright."

THAT IS ALL I [edited by moderator] HAVE

I mean, shucks.

I have sent you nothing but angels, and I have placed nothing but miracles before you.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-12-09 11:00 AM

EagleScorpion, what exactly can I say?????

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2002-12-09 11:10 AM

It is a good thing, and very cathartic, for you to have opened up like this and poured out your feelings and unanswered, and possibly unanswerable , questions. Personally, without a word of a lie, I have experienced more in my lifetime, than most people will have experienced in ten! I have been tested over and over again, as we all are to various degrees, and if you knew me as do those who do, you would wonder how I stay positive and keeping my faith. In fact, it is even stronger than ever!

I have been baptized in three churches and have been a member of several others. Always, searching for the "answers", but one day, several years ago, I had an epiphany and came to the realization that most of the religions have beliefs in common and that is when I became less into formal religions and became more of a spiritualist. I have found inner peace, it certainly came via a very difficult and circuitous route, but I am in a good place in my heart and soul---and when that happens, everything else in in your life falls into place.

~ May you find that inner peace

Sending you lots of love

EA

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

3 posted 2002-12-09 11:17 AM

Earth Angel ~

HeHe. Yes. I too took that road and became a spiritualist. Know that I too, know my inner peace very, very well.

You're so right. All religions hold one particular thing in common. ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN THEM ARE HUMAN BEINGS!! No more than that need be explained!

Allah, God, Goddess, Bhudda, Jesus, Mohammed, .. It's all the same cat. It is a shame to see people fighting and dying over something so trivial.

Earth Angel.. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. You have my word as a human being.

I have sent you nothing but angels, and I have placed nothing but miracles before you.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

4 posted 2002-12-09 11:38 AM

I regard life with the same cynicism and anger that you have Eagle, and like Earth Angel I've seen way too much of this side of life in my time. I have been labeled a nihilist, heretic,and atheist for my beliefs but in the end I have always had hope. I abandoned religion and idols long ago,for logic and reason. But these were not the answer either.
The problem with religion is that the initial and pure thoughts upon which they are derived become diluted or completely obscured by dogma. The problem with logic and reason is its arrogance in thinking this world is ours to solve and shape as we wish.
Some things cannot be explained, and what then? There are positive and pure messages that keep the spirit of humanity alive even in the ignorance and intolerance of most religions. And there is the bent towards an open mind and thought in reason. Therefore I believe there must be a happy medium. The healing of spirituality(not ideals)that Earth Angel speaks of and the use of logic and reason to always question and learn for ourselves. In ancient Alexandria and during the Renaissance this same thought was alive and look what beauty and wonder came out of those eras. Syncretism is the key believe in all and believe in nothing. And even in our destruction there will be rebirth and therefore hope.

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (12-09-2002 11:39 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2002-12-10 09:38 AM

A good rant, ES....

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2002-12-10 11:37 AM

Ranting and chanting have much in common.
Both are done regularly by humans.

for exercising the freedom to rant and chant as you see fit.

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

7 posted 2002-12-10 11:46 AM

If you think about it (obviously you have) even this current notion is a sort of faith. How do you know that after death there is beauty? May as well make the most of the human condition as it exists in the event that in the end we're plant food. Your post also begs the question....why have we no forum where adults can curse? It gives great release and is certainly a part of human expression. Imagine the great writes which go elsewhere for lack of a forum here. The current adult section is more for erotica (nothing wrong with that). In any event, I hope you felt better after this release.

GOlDsparklESS
Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 428
central nj

8 posted 2002-12-10 01:52 PM

No, really. Enlighten me. Dont give me any of that God crap either.

ok- so we have two problems here.  One is that we are completely immersed in a physical world, dependent on our poor blind senses to perceive this complex world as well as the INTENSITY of something as intangible as emotions...  And then we have this inner KNOWING ( expressed by most of the world through crazily implemented religions), whereforth hope, love, faith, meaning, FEELINGS and visions come from. this is duality at its finest; you are your own worst enemy!

oh boy.  what a dichotomy.
if i didn't know any better i'd think this was a GAME. hah. implying that we chose this fate.

but seriously- life is beautiful.   you can't deny how free your heart feels when you hear a melody and how thoroughly emotions infiltrate your "pathetic", poetic human self... can you really deny the grandness of everything you see?  you think this life is a mere COSMIC BLUNDER??? and i tell you this- life is sacred.  even in your moments of doubt and uncertainty, remember it.. you are HOLY.  I AM HOLY .  WE ALL ARE!!!  that's the irony here.  we don't think we are.  and you imagine that you don't remember what it feels like to be pure light. you can claim that its all "god crap" and you're right.  who truly "knows" what happens??!  no one.
but know this... my heart is pounding within me, just as surely as it pounds in your chest at this moment. and i feel it.
its so deep.

i'm ranting!!!! and throwing light in your face!!!  haha!!!!  i love you!!

~manisha

O' to be delivered from the realm of the rational into pure song...

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

9 posted 2002-12-10 02:38 PM

When I express my feelings this way...they don't edit...they put it on adult....but, I liked the write me friend...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

10 posted 2002-12-10 02:49 PM

EagleScorpion
What will be will be. How you accept it is another story. Enjoyed the write.

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

11 posted 2002-12-16 04:37 PM

no better a remedy for a really crappy mood than a nice rant like this! thanks for reposting it, and i apologize for the blatant and frequent use of profanities

I have sent you nothing but angels, and I have placed nothing but miracles before you.

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

12 posted 2004-03-26 10:30 PM

damn what was i on That night?

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