navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Red Spot (Modified)
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic Red Spot (Modified) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2002-12-10 12:41 PM



Unconcious stress brought on red spots
he thought that his looks were tops
but the ship was no longer in harbour
and immigrants have already set out across the seas
their gums would soon show evidence of a scourge
modern plague of ills that surface to the skin
red spot on a wrist or ankle..sign of a sin?
From the stress of multitask jobs he took home
and drowned in bottles, stashed under cots
he raised families..unawares of sinister dots
and came into ownership of family plots
red spots blossomed..cell growth had gone awry
then he committed himself to natural cures
'cause the medical staff had nothing sure
and at night dreamt of palm tree breezes
'cause day meant the shivers...and constant sneezes.
He created a life that insulted the order of things
expected cell growth and repair soon faltered
the boat's meager supplies pilfered and squandered
his life on earth had been somewhat altered...
red spots would continue to flourish
he thought how his looks had been
life wasn't something preserved in a tin.






[This message has been edited by ecrivan (12-10-2002 10:19 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2002-12-10 08:12 AM


He created a life that insulted the order of things... a wonderful line...


I am not sure I understand this in it's entirety..but the visuals from it were a bit scarey.
M

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
2 posted 2002-12-10 10:09 AM


perhaps so...but here is a window on lives that weren't meant to be rosy...before people could relax in the comfort of their well heated homes..the quality if life was often dreary...not one of my happy poems Maureen...thanks for sharing.


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2002-12-10 10:40 AM


My Grandparents were all immigrants, and my Grandfather use to tell us of his tales of crossing the ocean at the age of 12 by himself... to join his relatives here.

Stories that we will never be able to match in our lifetime.(and before so many basic things were invented and are taken for granted now...)
*s
M

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2002-12-10 11:10 AM


An interesting perspective Martin. Putting history under the microscope reveals many blemishes. Healing takes generations.
quik
Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 91
Dinwiddie,Virginia
5 posted 2002-12-10 01:46 PM


Man you are so creative with your words. I might have get some of your ideas. Thanks for the post
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
6 posted 2002-12-11 12:43 PM


Maureen,

so the you can relate to the poem then...


Midnite,

blemishes can heal but are often just powdered over and cosmetically hidden


Quik

If this has given you ideas..that's a good thing, isn't it?


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Red Spot (Modified)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary