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Coats of Winter
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Coats of Winter |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Dawn staggered over The broken tree tops with a whimper of wind that begged me, “Hear the sadness in my sighs?” “It is there from ages of chasing shadows that follow the moon.” I listened, hoping to learn more but found sorrow was riding on the edge of air that whipped my collar. My ears heard only the sough of bare limbs grieving summers pass, leaving me to tug another cold buttoned morn out of silence. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron Some great lines in this. "Dawn staggered over The broken tree tops" and " sorrow was riding on the edge of air" and "the sough of bare limbs grieving" The whole tone is so weather related to the heart that I want to tell you to wear you coat and gloves. Well done, of course. Warm hugs! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
now I understand my sadness of the last few days, the weather has been just such, and the wind...it does speak sadness to me.... I agree with Martie, wonderful wonderful lines in this......it is so well written that the reader actually feels the 'chill' oh and lol, thank you for the new word...had to go look up 'sough'...had never seen it used before...I love the way you used it.... [This message has been edited by jellybeans (12-05-2002 12:17 PM).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat Hair Nice one, enjoyed the read. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
My ears heard only the sough of bare limbs grieving summers pass, leaving me to tug another cold buttoned morn out of silence. I didn't think it could get any quieter than it already was, here between the cornfields. This morning's walk through the snow, proved me wrong. A blanket that holds no warmth...only silence. Enjoyed the mood of this Ron, perfect fit for the day. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ron, this felt so real. You did an excellent job of making the reader "hear" what was heard in the wind. If this one is about you, I hope that you will soon hear the whispers of joy through the wind.  "Love makes the world go around" |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
I like this so much for it reminds me of a conversation w. daughter that I just am not ready for winter to set in and she reminded me how utterly beautiful it can be, like a fantasy land of sparkling snow and ice covering all bareness...wondering, which is what... did that make me feel better? No! But it did her. Tsk! It all has to do with mindset I suppose. I agree with the others regarding certain lines. You didn't waste a word, and the ones you used, perfect! So talented, you are. Thanks for capturing how many of us feel sometimes, winter or not.... Warmest regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful write here Ron. You have captured the cold of winter very well. ~Hugs~ ~ Life is too short not to believe in Santa Claus ~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
“Hear the sadness in my sighs?” “It is there from ages of chasing shadows that follow the moon.” I listened, hoping to learn more but found sorrow was riding on the edge of air that whipped my collar. ============================== someone throw another log on the fire... then give me more of your poems to read. how bout a whole book full...leatherbound.. crisp pages... yeah...you need to be in print.... my people will call your people  *L* |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
but found sorrow was riding on the edge of air that whipped my collar. wow, I like that thought... I have to admit I am glad I live where there are seasonal changes... M |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
And with this, the soughs echo... |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Yet it's summer somewhere. If the shadows follow the moon which follows the sun, where than are we to run?....now look you've got me thinking. Enjoyed |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
With "Dawn staggered over The broken tree tops with a whimper of wind" one could go almost anywhere. Very nice lead! wihwt |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) I think we can all relate to these days ever so much, sweet friend, you awlays speak straight from your heart! (sigh) I send angel hugs of comfort your way, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Outstanding. very emotive, for me, at least. Brrrrr! Ed |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
“Hear the sadness in my sighs?” “It is there from ages of chasing shadows that follow the moon.” I just loved this and this line especially Whoa this was just spectacular and, yes, emotive.. AWESOME! I used to feel this way each winter about February and March....20 years of snow brrrrrrr aloha, Cher Poetry is: |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I listened, hoping to learn more but found sorrow was riding on the edge of air that whipped my collar. That JM is a hard act to follow so I will just let her people call your people and someone call my people when the book is ready okay? |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Hmmmmm..perhaps a glass of wine in front of a crackling fire to warm the chill? Enjoyed!! |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Very nice poem! |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
WOW! Magnificent turns of phrases! I love the collar line most of all, but the entire poem is exquisite! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
This is a wonderful connection of images and phrasing. Great writing. KJ Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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