navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Mathematically sleeping
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic Mathematically sleeping Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2002-12-05 10:41 AM


Her mind refused to equate the darkness
and her closed eyes to sleeping as
she wrestled the unsolved calculations
of her life up to the current date.

She took her unhappiness and
multiplied it by WhatCouldHaveBeen,
but found the resulting figure
too large to handle, so she divided
it by WishesNeverComeTrueAnyway...

but everyone knows what happens when you
divide by a negative and now she had
not only successfully exponentially notated
her quandary but negated it as well.

Algebraic training came to her rescue
and she simply multiplied the whole thing
by her SelfImage.

There were still too many variables
to define so she took her hopes out of
the equation and subtracted her dreams
one by one and dropped deeply into the
comfort of an absolute zero.

© Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2002-12-05 10:44 AM


Everything about this piece was brilliantly calculated--from the title, "Mathematically Sleeping" to "right into the comfort of an absolute zero" !!!

EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (12-05-2002 01:21 PM).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2002-12-05 11:02 AM


jellybeans

Mathmatically speaking, you are 100% a poet!  

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-12-05 11:03 AM



JB...this is brilliant!  Bravo!

I so love this. It makes me smile in spite of the depth of feelings. You wrote this exceedingly well. Enjoyed every line.


Hugs and warm regards, Pat



..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

4 posted 2002-12-05 11:03 AM


I was writing out the equation in my head as reading this.  Would make a cool book cover.  
(I think the snow's getting to me already...lol)

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2002-12-05 11:07 AM


jellybeans
LOL although this is no laughing matter.
Well done, enjoyed the read.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2002-12-05 11:08 AM


I loved this!!! *S* Not the pain that led to its production... but the beautifully crafted poetic perfection! *G* As someone who once majored in math, I couldn't resist the equations. *G* Now if only I didn't identify so much with:

She took her unhappiness and
multiplied it by WhatCouldHaveBeen,
but found the resulting figure
too large to handle, so she divided
it by WishesNeverComeTrueAnyway...

but everyone knows what happens when you
divide by a negative

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2002-12-05 11:09 AM


Lady, a brilliant mind shows through in this poem. I always
liked algebra, and I like this poem, too.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2002-12-05 12:03 PM


absolute zero... a term used to describe the point where no temp exists.

To subtract to the point this is where you are, tells me you have taken too much out of your life, for a write such as this does not come from the absence of warmth... but the missing of warmth.

beautfully done as always my friend.


Walter Poe
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787

9 posted 2002-12-05 12:34 PM


Maybe its a point of view few share but zero is a  good place you can always start there

Personally i have problems counting over 3 but college quantum physics come easily to me

You can never reach zero no matter how hard you try cause after all the warmth you show proves you could still fall.

Take a good look at my face
Well, don't my smile look out of  place
look a little closer its easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

10 posted 2002-12-05 12:39 PM


EA, thank you, how funny that what keeps me awake makes you smile

Martie, glad you enjoyed

Pat, yep, I have been accused of having a wry wit, and I guess it comes out in this one…thank you much

Duncan, we just got rid of our clouds and snow and have blue skies today, so I am smiling, thank you for your comments

Seymour, thank you, and yep the sadness in this is outweighed by the smiles, and glad it reads that way

suthern, I know lady, I know…and lol, I loved math in college, could actually do Algebra to get RID of a headache, lol, but I had to scramble to remember all the mathematical terms I needed for this to come out right, glad you liked lady

GG, thank you, and me too, always loved algebra

cpat…you read more into me than I think that I am showing *smile* …thank you for the read and the compassion

walter, thank you for your comments, that my warmth shows despite my efforts to hide it is a compliment


thank you all....I am pleased that my insomnia made you smile

Elimeno P
Junior Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 17
The only place I want to be!
11 posted 2002-12-06 11:48 PM


I was never very good at math...a habitual C student.  I still count on my fingers sometimes.  This is very interesting how you use the "math terms" with a wickedly good subject.  Very interesting!

EP

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
12 posted 2002-12-07 08:33 AM


Excellent!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Ice_Queen
Junior Member
since 2002-12-04
Posts 29
Delaware, USA
13 posted 2002-12-08 01:33 PM


I loved this.  One small beef, though.  The wording of this verse:

There were still too many variables
to define so she took her hopes out of
the equation and subtracted her dreams
one by one and dropped deeply into the
comfort of an absolute zero.

is great, but I think your breaks are little off.  Maybe try it like this:

There were still too many variables to define
so she took her hopes out of the equation
and subtracted her dreams one by one
and dropped deeply into the comfort
of an absolute zero.

[This message has been edited by Ice_Queen (12-08-2002 06:56 PM).]

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

14 posted 2002-12-10 02:05 PM


lmnop.......thank you

sandpiper, thank you

ice...my line breaks usually take little effort, they usually just feel right or if not right are quickly adjusted....but this one skipped by me, I do like your version better, thank you for the time and comments

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Mathematically sleeping

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary