--- With A Little Kiss ---

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Open Poetry #23

--- With A Little Kiss ---

The Lonely Stranger
Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 361
Upstate, NY, USA

0 posted 2002-12-04 07:43 PM

--- With A Little Kiss ---

As you stood there at my door
You knew what I did not.

If I had known that look at you
Would be the last I got,

I'd have looked into your eyes
I'd have looked into their shine

I'd have pulled you close to me
And kissed you one more time.

If I had known that you were walking
From my life that day

I'd have know it was the time
To try to make you stay

But with a smile and a little kiss
You turned and left me here

I'll always hold you in my heart
I'll always hold you dear

[This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (12-04-2002 07:45 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2002-12-04 07:47 PM

Ah such a sad write m'friend.

Nice to see you here tonight though...
Excellent write.
Much enjoyed.
~Hugs~

~ Life is too short not to believe in Santa Claus ~

Ice_Queen
Junior Member

since 2002-12-04

Posts 29
Delaware, USA

2 posted 2002-12-04 08:11 PM

I liked this. I'm new here, so I can't say if it's better or worse or up to par with your regular stuff, but I too enjoy breaking by poems up by two lines, and I think it adds to the flow. It makes the poem seem less...shall we say "Whiny," and more thoughtful.

Groovy Oovy

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2002-12-05 03:37 AM

Yes you never know when they're going to go...so enjoy the moments...James

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2002-12-05 03:41 AM

Lonely Stranger~
This is a sad and emotional, yet beautifully penned write.
You've expressed this well.
Nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

5 posted 2002-12-05 05:14 AM

"As you stood there at my door
You knew what I did not"

Awesome lines! Sometimes 'tis a brief but oh so beautiful moment--enjoyed!

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