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Open Poetry #23
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Trust
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Trust |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
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I ask the vast sky, Why I trusted you I was sitting on a cloud, But the cloud turned into rain. If I could touch the fire, I would hold it in my arms, Tell it everything is all right, I won’t let you die. I watch the leaves spin, Bringing color to the wind I promised not to let them fall, Everything was so wrong. Life never goes The way it should, One minute I am happy, The next I’m alone The current is to fast for me to fight, Should I keep fighting or not I saw that raining cloud An I was angry, I would have kicked it if I could Could you hear me if I whispered? Should I even try? (This has nothing to do with me. I don't need help or encouragement. I asure you, I am perfectly happy, I only write for feedback, and to express myself) Never be normal! |
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| © Copyright 2002 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
You definitely get the message through on this write. I see the confusion and aggravation well...I believe you conquered your quest here. ~Salty |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Liz, This is wonderful, it is almost a stage of grieving, done poetically. (not ~your~ grieving, of the grieving process which has several stages) I especially like these lines: "I watch the leaves spin bringing color to the wind" Interesting write, I enjoyed. Hugs and warm regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Liz, I'm glad that you put your explanation at the bottom of your poem. Otherwise, a lot of us compassionate and caring people would have tried to comfort you. (You already knew that, didn't you?) Isn't this a really good "family of friends", little friend? Every one is so sweet and loving, don't you think? Anyway, it's really good to watch you as you are developing your writing skills. Do you realize what a talent you have? you are a really good writer, and can get your feelings and emotions across very well. Thanks. "Love makes the world go around" |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Salty- yes, I wanted readers to feel that the person was upset. I am glad that is what you realized. Thank you salty. Pat- Thank you. I almost didn't include that line, because I have a habbit of using the word "wind" in all of my poems, which bothers me because that is my pen name. But I liked the vision too much. Thank you Pat, I allways enjoy your thourogh and kind replys. Ethel- thank you so much. And by the way, do you know how sweet you are? you allways have something nice to say, and it brightens my day to hear it  Never be normal! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Liz, you may have missed it, but I wanted to stop by and thank you for your inspiration earlier this morning... It was  like a breath of fresh air!As for your currents, let them flow... it's amazing where they'll take you... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Liz, I'm so happy you explained yourself at the bottom or I too would have been worried sick, sweet friend, I can be kind of maudlin and wouldn't want to get the wrong impression as a true poet writes from all different angles and perspectives beyond ones own realm! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is excellent, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Liz, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Your art is alive and well my friend. Excellent emotive piece...fine work. ThisDiamond |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Well expressed then. |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
i'm more of a go with the flow kind of guy... if it rains, i wear my trenchcoat. it's crazy to try and ice skate uphill or keep the leaves on the trees... but this raises an interesting point... keep fighting? of course... finding alternative methods, rather than kicking at clouds...yea. i like the frustration in this, wind. hehe. kinda reminds me of me. ps. sorry if my rambling sounds like pontification... you just got my thoughts goin with this one. it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown [This message has been edited by Ethan Halo (12-01-2002 11:34 PM).] |
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Robert Adamson Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 328PA/USA |
I think something in everyone searches for a complete answer to trust but, not finding adequate answers may lead to feeling shut out, hurt emotions or anger. I like how this poem can bring out some deep emotions. Thank you. etoodog |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Very touching , I am glad to hear it isnt drawn from a personal expierence. You certainly captured the emotion |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
"I watch the leaves spin, Bringing color to the wind I promised not to let them fall," Such is truth, that sometimes, even the wind cannot control her purpose. Thanks, coyote "The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none." |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wonderful poem. Very expressive. I have to say my favorite line is "One minute I am happy the next Im alone." unfortunately I can ralate to that very well. WinterWren |
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Smoothy Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119The dark side of the moon |
Being a teenager, I know what its like to have life take one unexpected turn after another. Good visualizations. |
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