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Open Poetry #23
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cherrylips
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51
UK

0 posted 2002-11-30 01:26 PM



His and Hers
He looks at her
She looks at him
Primal urges
Insatiable desires
Feelings of want
Feelings of need
He wants her
She wants him
Emotions high
Bodies trembling
Feelings of want
Feelings of need
He feels her
She feels him

A force so strong
Neither can deny
In each others heart
Love for the other lies

© Copyright 2002 Danielle - All Rights Reserved
cherrylips
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51
UK
1 posted 2002-11-30 01:27 PM


Hi guys I am new to this site and well to writing poetry itself. I would love to hear what you have to say but please try to go easy on me. Critical comments welcome cherrylipsx
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2002-11-30 01:27 PM


I'm going to go take a cold shower now lol

Thanks and a warm welcome to PIP cherrylips

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (11-30-2002 01:27 PM).]

Jamie Dawg
Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 35

3 posted 2002-11-30 01:52 PM


well cherry, this is a very intense, though perhaps you could join up the last four lines...it seems a shame to build up so much sexual tension and then have a line break....

all in all though respect
JD xx

cherrylips
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51
UK
4 posted 2002-11-30 01:54 PM


well aenimal I am er glad you liked it, did try not to make it too explicit lol thanx for your comments cherrylipsx
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2002-11-30 01:57 PM


Welcome to Passions. A little sizzle on a Saturday morning starts the day off nicely.
cherrylips
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51
UK
6 posted 2002-11-30 02:06 PM


Yes Jamie dont you feel this break is more of a true reflection , how you get your hopes up only for them to be let down trememdously, lol, cherrylipsx
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
7 posted 2002-11-30 02:10 PM


believe in what your heart feels...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2002-11-30 02:23 PM


Welcome to Passions, Cherry.  Please check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
9 posted 2002-11-30 03:06 PM


Cherrylips,
welcome to piptalk or as it's more fondly known, Passions. I'm sure you'll fit right in. your poem shows style and emotion and I liked the way you followed the guidelines and showed restraint.
Kethry


Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown


[This message has been edited by Kethry (11-30-2002 03:07 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2002-11-30 03:13 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!
Enjoyed your first post!
I'll be looking forward to more of your work.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Life is too short not to believe in Santa Claus ~

zenny
Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 371
Belgium
11 posted 2002-11-30 03:48 PM


Welcome to passions cherrylips

Very nice start, i felt the tension building up, i enjoyed ur write

Hope to see some more of urs soon

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
12 posted 2002-11-30 06:09 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwww, this is such a gorgeous and passionate debut, sweet friend, you speak of love so beautifully here, I LOVE IT!!! Welcomne to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 2002-11-30 06:36 PM


"I liked the way you followed the guidelines and showed restraint.
Kethry"

LOLOLOL!!!!!!

Welcome, cherrylips!

Bob Banger
New Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 4

14 posted 2002-11-30 06:55 PM


this was right powerful stuff. Nice to see another new member getting their teeth in.

Cheers for the good times, top banana.

Bob Banger

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
15 posted 2002-11-30 10:27 PM




i think desire is lying in more than the heart, honey!!!!!!

D edgar Grey
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)
16 posted 2002-11-30 10:34 PM


Ahem! Well...that just makes an interesting mental image! Nevertheless...I really enjoyed this piece (for the quality of work, not the mental imagery, mind you!). Hope to see more of your work soon!
Zai jian
Carson

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work:  "Hello.  Can't work today, still queer." (If only...>; P)

She
Junior Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 41
Wishing On A Northern Star
17 posted 2002-11-30 10:55 PM


Welcome to Passions, and thank you for the welcome and wonderful comment you made on my first post.

I enjoyed the urgency of this. If you wanted to make it a little more urgent, I believe they have an Adult forum.   This place has a lot of forums to offer. Happy looking around!

You're new to writing poetry? What prompted you to start writing?

"You put a stain on all of my good days."
Matchbox Twenty "Disease"

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
18 posted 2002-12-05 03:47 AM


Perfect...James
CSKpoet
Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845
Island in Paradise
19 posted 2002-12-05 04:07 AM


smiles....it fits Passions
welcome and hugs, Cher

Poetry is:
Passion, imagination and intellect running together.

Aloha with warmest regards, Cheryl Stewart Koomoa

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
20 posted 2002-12-05 05:09 AM


Delicious!  Welcome!
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