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Open Poetry #23
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2002-11-27 06:54 AM


there was a hole
in the raining sky
as an eerie light
threw pained rays
through tear drops
that had settled
in her eyes

and I saw a rainbow
rising from her eyes
with colours all split
as if  joy was divided
into layers of pain

and I could see
lightning crash
deep inside her heart
like flashlights
of a camera
caught in retakes
of photographs
of yesterday’s sun

soon the rain stopped
and the skies cleared
but the rainbow
was now replaced
by tall shadows coloured
in seven shades of grey

I could see sorrow
permanently framed
in halls of memory
like long lanes of cacti
overgrown in a desert
formed as a result of
years of drought

© Copyright 2002 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2002-11-27 07:55 AM


Sudhir,
A sad write for the festive holiday comming.
How ever it was well done and I enjoyed.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-11-27 08:05 AM


Sudhir, this is a beautifully written poem with lots of meaning. So sad, though.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2002-11-27 10:59 AM


Thank you both so very much, Seymour and Ethel...

regards,
sudhir

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-11-27 02:54 PM



The whole poem! but especially
...seven shades of gray...

Keep writing the s...

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

5 posted 2002-11-27 02:56 PM


This was wonderfull. i could see every movement in this poem, which is a very good trait.

Never be normal!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-11-27 02:58 PM


yes a keeper for sure...
enjoyed tis and the progression of images you allowed us to see....

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2002-11-27 07:17 PM


I do hope that you never stop writing these
treasures......
ever......
This is remarkable!

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-11-27 07:52 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Sudhir, this is wonderful but so sad, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I send angel hugs your way to clear the tears away, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2002-11-29 11:03 PM


Nice expression...James
neveah5
Member
since 2002-11-22
Posts 197
Ohio
10 posted 2002-11-29 11:12 PM


Lovely piece
How something so sad can be so beautifully written....

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2002-11-30 03:21 AM


"and I could see
lightning crash
deep inside her heart
like flashlights
of a camera
caught in retakes
of photographs
of yesterday’s sun"

Lens flare, memories overexposed.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2002-11-30 03:43 AM


yep, I do love those sad ones...
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
13 posted 2002-11-30 09:51 AM


Wow! Sudhir...and these lines, double WOW!

and I saw a rainbow
                         rising from her eyes
                         with colours all split
                         as if  joy was divided
                         into layers of pain
fantastically woven!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
14 posted 2002-11-30 09:56 AM


My halo's off to you for this one, dear Sudhir! Incredibly moving and descriptive piece of writing.

~ sending warm hugs

EA

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2002-11-30 11:37 AM


Sudhir

You see with an inner eye, into the depth, in this poem.  

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
16 posted 2002-11-30 02:44 PM


Written with a sense of classic literature description, insight, and empathy -- very omniscient...

-MVS

"AS ABOVE SO BELOW"

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
17 posted 2002-11-30 04:55 PM




Sudhir,

Heartbreaking and beautiful don't seem to go together, except in this descriptive poem....

It is wonderful and I enjoyed it a great deal....

Warm regards, Pat

  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
18 posted 2002-12-06 06:42 AM


Karilea, thank you for your gracious words, as always....

Wind, thanks for the wonderful response, glad you could see the scenes

Ron, thanks a lot, its a pleasure to see your name

Gentle one, thanks you muchly for your kind response...

Noah, thanks a lot for your touching response, as usual... you are really one of the very generous ones here

James, thanks so much

neveah5, thank you and welcome to passions...

Midnitesun, thanks for coming by and picking the lines that you felt with...

passing shadows, a for you

Virginia, thanks... double thanks

EA, thanks for coming by, thanks for the hugs...

Martie, you too, my friend, you too ... thanks

MVS, thanks for such a nice compliment...

Pat, I am glad that you enjoyed this... thanks...

Thanks to all,
Regards,
Sudhir

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