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Open Poetry #23
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2002-11-22 11:58 AM


Communiqué


one read of him and she knew that
he knew that
he could easily

have her

the manner of his words
filled her mind with adverb packed dreams
softly aching to be passionately
lovingly used by the confidence
and charm that literally
oozed from his
verbiage

coyly she counted her choices and
angled away from previous handling errors

prolonging the game she closed her eyes
carefully crossed her t’s and
leaned heavily
for support
on her
not
yet

© Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-11-22 12:00 PM



I so enjoy reading you...
thanks for the morning break!

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
2 posted 2002-11-22 01:15 PM


I really like the hopeful disquiet that you've penned here.

Hope that your choices narrow and
that your prolonged longing is shortened


Ed

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-11-22 01:35 PM


Enjoyed this... a bit of hopeful in your words is always nice to see...


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2002-11-22 02:15 PM


hmmmmm 'hopeful disquiet' that does describe it well....you read deep wranx

cpat, yes hopeful is good....it is much 'up' from the depths I have been residing in

sunshine thank you, glad you enjoyed the read

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2002-11-22 10:58 PM


Wow! This poem certainly dotted my "i"'s...you do have a way...
Contabo
Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159

6 posted 2002-11-23 07:28 PM


ooooo she did it again.

I have been waiting....and reading.


Contabo

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

7 posted 2002-11-23 07:58 PM


prolonging the game she closed her eyes
carefully crossed her t’s and
leaned heavily
for support
on her
not
yet

Sometimes, the anticipation, is it's own reward.  Really like this alot.

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
8 posted 2002-11-24 07:25 AM


Awesome write, beginning to end!

"I am a sky where spirits live.
Stare into this deepening blue,
while the breeze says a secret."
Jelaluddin Rumi

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2002-11-25 02:32 PM


thank you all......hmmm, never expected this to get good response....and this weekend I looked it over and thought it would be more accurate if I replaced the 'coyly' with 'carefully', but it is too late to edit...
thank you all again....sigh...you all are a welcome sight to tire monday eyes

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2002-11-25 02:59 PM


I don't know whether to compliment you or kick you! LOL The poem is fantastic... but it left that old song "Anticipation" stuck in my mind... and unfortunately, after all the commercialization of it, I keep seeing a ketchup bottle refusing to drip... and that's not the visualization this poem deserves! LOL

Seriously... I do like this... it's sensual and sassy and full of "just suppose." *S*

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
11 posted 2002-11-25 03:29 PM


Not only did I thoroughly enjoy and appreciate your talented write, I also enjoyed Suthern's humorous comparison to the anticipation of a ketchup bottle giving up its treasure! LOL
majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
12 posted 2002-11-25 05:11 PM


coyly she counted her choices and
angled away from previous handling errors


...the games we play. nice.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

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