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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-11-20 08:11 AM


Feeling Secondary

In the scheme of it all I am secondary.
Others plagiarizing me
thinking they can walk in my shoes,
take over my life
and sometimes, when really down,
I almost wish they would.

It would be nice
to have someone really understand,
to grasp the inner workings of my emotions,
instead of always labeling.
Those cliched terms "get on with your life",
"get over it" and other insensitive phrases
make me scream silently and my mind
try to defend its position in life's moments.

Tell me, I always ask,
"Have you been married at least 30 years?"
"Have you only shared yourself with the one you loved?"
"Have you been left, embarassed in front of a small town,
by the secrets kept from you?"
"Have you devoted yourself totally, only to see  
all your dreams disappear in
one ugly moment of words?"

If not, don't compare your life to mine,
your hurts to mine, your past to my future.
All I can do is what's best for me.
I ask for no guidance,
take each day as it comes
and try to deal with it
in a calm, rational manner.

Once loved, always loved.
It can't be dismissed that easily.
He knows it, I know it
and my future depends upon it.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

© Copyright 2002 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
1 posted 2002-11-20 08:52 AM


Maureen, this is so true. Unless a person has
walked in another persons shoes and experienced
EXACTLY  the same circumstances, they can't
COMPLETELY  and  TOTALLY  understand........
no matter how hard they may try to.
And, no matter how hard we may try to explain
some of the devastating circumstaces of our
lives, we can't explain them exactly how they
happened, can we?  I've got some things that
have happened (are are still happening) in my
life that I would love to be able to write about.
I just haven't been able to find the right words
to put them down on paper the way you do. I
honestly wish that I could write about these
circumstances. I think it would help me, if
I could get some of these feelings and emotions
out from where I keep them tucked away.
BTW, I write about  Gary and myself most of the
time, because our relationship is the most loving
and happiest (and settled) part of my life right now....
Even though Gary and I  aren't able to be
together physically all the time right now,
we are always together in mind, heart, and spirit,
and we understand each other so completely that it's amazing.
Of this I am   VERY  thankful.
Maureen, I didn't mean to say all this, but
your poem touched some deep feelings and emotions
in me. It really made me think of my own past.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-11-20 09:30 AM


it would always be nice to have someone understand us...

you are as you are and you think as you think. No one can understand that in whole, but it does not make it wrong for some to try.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-11-20 10:20 AM





You are so right, in our own way and in our own time.

I didn't use a calm, rational manner.

His insanity made me crazy! (smiling, now, but it was not amusing then)

Not being the suicidel type, he's very lucky I didn't kill him.....

No one can walk in your shoes, but it doesn't mean we haven't walked that path.  A soul shattering experience.

Never know is someone's poem is a real experience, but, you captured a lot of others', too.

Thank you for this. I remember how it was.

Warm regards, Pat
  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2002-11-20 10:32 AM


Maureen,
You said it yourself "Once loved, always loved." No one can take that away.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2002-11-20 11:01 AM


this was just a discussion with myself...of how I had it once, and how I will never have it again

and how people, friends, tend to tell you how you should live your life, instead of living their own.

And you are right Sy, that is the good and the bad of it...I  have had it and felt it and it can't ever be taken away.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2002-11-20 11:21 AM


Ethel, you are lucky to have found  each other (Gary) and I know I have posted many a poem about my life, the end of my marriage, the daily rejections, the down side of it.

Then once in awhile I fantasize till I almost believe I have someone special in my life...and then again those tuck-a-way days show up where nothing seems right so you try to smile as if the world is fine with you in it and that's my story and I'll stick to it

C..yes I am who I am, and I think and know as I do..those who try in sincerity are welcomed. Those who haven't gone through something similar and say trite words put me on the defensive making me want to say "just wait until it happens to you"..or "if it happened to you how would you react."

It's the unsolicited remarks of those who take sides that get under the skin. In  a situation as such there is no "right side".
And that "crap" about it takes "two to tango"..or "two to cause the marriage to break up"...it just takes one who is unhappy for whatever the reason.

Pat, you made me smile because I had killer instincts at one time.
"in our own way and in our own time."

Thank you again Sy, I know you know what it is like to love someone for a long time.

M


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