navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Second story window..v1.0
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic Second story window..v1.0 Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2002-11-19 03:37 PM


The world outside my window a blanket dark and grey,
Reminds me of that fateful night and how he did betray
The rain in pools it gathers, like the tears within your eyes
Before they trickled down your cheek, the day he made you cry
In tiny streams of faith lost they flowed towards your lips
From whence “I’ll never love” was uttered and my heart eclipsed
For long ago my love you stole, now its fate you seal
Thus, unrequited it shall remain evermore concealed


(first draft)

© Copyright 2002 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
1 posted 2002-11-19 07:19 PM


A,
Welcome to Passions! And I like your poem.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2002-11-19 08:31 PM


You certainly created a dismal and dreary mood. Very effective descriptive writing.

EA

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-11-19 09:57 PM




(big hugggssssssss) This is so sad but well-expressed, sweet friend, don't hold onto it too long or you may sink even deeper, always embrace love with every opportunity you're granted! (sigh) This is touching, sweet friend, I send angel hugs your way, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2002-11-19 10:11 PM


Thank you all for the kind words.
Earth Angel I hope not too dreary i wouldn't want to darken your day. Just a touch of melancholy last night. I am quite addicted to the forum it's quite nice to feel some semblance of home.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Second story window..v1.0

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary