navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » O, This path...
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic O, This path... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
GOlDsparklESS
Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428
central nj

0 posted 2002-11-18 06:33 PM


Candidly startled... than hushed...
Forgive me, if this seems rushed
But I feel so lonely now  
     (melancholy airs, all around)

I know, I know, I know

(No one will ever know)

This road is a lonely road
(No one can ever know)


I feel I am to be alone...~ hypnotic visions enrapture me, my darling~

(O, the fury of this chase...)


So alone, on this road

(you cannot know this hidden path I search to sleep)


Faraway echoes bellow hollowness into awry undulations

(in you)


I’m so alone

(fallen, I am )


It’s going to be ok.

(you will know one day, my friend.)

Though these tears can’t stop falling,

My soul is calling...

It told me so...

I know,
   I know.

© Copyright 2002 Manisha Narang - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-11-18 07:30 PM


O...this is beautiful...
your words fall down the page like a melody..
with harmonies floating them back up..
the repetative "I know" was the perfect touch...and those closing rhymes...
poetry in motion....

a lovely affirming write Poetess Sparkles

No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ...
and I never saw blue like that before.

~Tom Kimmel~

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-11-18 07:36 PM


The way you have written this is very unique and beautiful. I like it. Thanks for sharing with us.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-11-18 07:39 PM


OH!!  WOW!!  This is one fantastic write!
~Hugs~

~Love, like magic, depends on believing~

GOlDsparklESS
Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428
central nj
4 posted 2002-11-19 12:10 PM


Thank you all so much!  

I am honored!


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » O, This path...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary