navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Until You Told Me Everything
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic Until You Told Me Everything Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2002-11-18 04:14 PM


(This is another song I wrote on the thoughts of my abused cousin Teia, when I was 11 years old and told my mom, “Where is she, is she coming out to play today at the amusement park?” and she cried and hugged me and told me she may never be the same again. I was too young to understand it all then but every year more of it comes to me and ever since then has saddened me as she has never been the same again, and I was always tubborn in believing it ever happened because she never deserved any of the pain! This is the follow-up to Infrared, also about her, with the link below)
/pip/Forum74/HTML/002190.html

Until You Told Me Everything
By: Noah Eaton
11/17/02

I shouldn’t have asked that morning
I shouldn’t have heard anything
I wished I stayed inside alone in my sandbox
And pretended to wait for her to come through carefree

I thought it was all just a simple joke
I assumed it was nothing but a hoax
Until you told me everything…
Told me everything…

That was the last time I ever walked into old Elitch’s
Down a gray 44th street
You held my hand under the gazebo
Had our last ride on the ferris wheel where we used to feel her glee

I thought it was all just a simple joke
I assumed it was nothing but a hoax
Until you told me everything…
Told me everything…

I don’t want to lose the pitch in this song
I don’t want to feel the sinus pushing on
I wanted to hear nothing at all is wrong
Until you told me everything…

The amusement park is now a graveyard
With carousel horses still with broken hooves
The Rainbow is lying pale in the rubble
I know there’s nothing left to lose…

…but still I wish it was all just a simple joke
I assumed it was nothing but a hoax
Until you told me everything…
Told me everything…
Until you told me everything…
Told me everything…
Until you told me everything…
Told me everything…




"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (11-18-2002 04:14 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved
Eliza
Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 58

1 posted 2002-11-18 04:19 PM



Harm to children
is the worst offense
and it is disheartening that
we find so many ways to do this,
even when unintentional...

Your heart is so large, Noah,
that I hope one day,
your cousin will find comfort
in all you have had to say
in her behalf

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
2 posted 2002-11-18 04:22 PM


This is so sad, Noah... but you are so talented and I hope that this lovely song makes your cousin feel better
~ hugs from deep in my heart

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
3 posted 2002-11-18 04:42 PM


Though fairly young, I have unfortunately seen abuse and it's effects far too many times in my life. Any form of abuse is inexcusable especially against the young, the shadows and scars left upon those poor souls mar their beauty and light. However they have strength untold, and with support and acknowledgement like this poem and you're love for her she will find her way back and shine more brilliantly then ever. Touching work I'm sure she will appreciate.
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2002-11-18 04:48 PM


Oh goodness, Noah. This is so sad. I feel so bad for your cousin. When children are abused, they are never the same. My daughter was also abused when she was young. It has affected her very much. Now she has to go to counseling because of it. She was abused by someone I trusted to keep her while I had to work.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

Cassie
Junior Member
since 2002-11-12
Posts 32

5 posted 2002-11-18 07:08 PM


Noah~
I am saddened for your cousin, I will keep her in my prayers.

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
6 posted 2002-11-18 07:12 PM


Noah, once more your kind and tender soul shines through your poetry. Heartbreaking!
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2002-11-18 07:31 PM


Noah - two very sad writes I've seen from you. Just too sad...

BC

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2002-11-18 07:46 PM


Things like this should never happen to one so young...
difficult write sidekick!
~Hugs~

~Love, like magic, depends on believing~

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
9 posted 2002-11-18 08:07 PM


Tough write for you, Noah...but you  did well.

...believe what your heart feels...

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
10 posted 2002-11-18 09:04 PM


Noah, this is a very sad, yet touching write. All will be well with time. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
11 posted 2002-11-18 09:16 PM


Noah...Your words echo the pain suffered by so many. The innocence of childhood is so often destroyed by all types of sinceless abuse. My heart is heavy with tears from this sad poem...Paul
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2002-11-18 09:34 PM


Noah

My heart hurts with yours.  

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2002-11-20 02:55 AM


Sad that life can hold many disappointments for us and those we love...James
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2002-11-20 03:10 AM


oh God Noah I sware, you have a way to make me so sad sometimes. Hugs to you. Please heal soon.
Kristine
Member
since 2002-10-30
Posts 92
Mahal Kita!!!
15 posted 2002-11-20 05:39 AM


this made me
but beautifully written.

You are very talented.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Until You Told Me Everything

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary