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Open Poetry #23
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theSunflower
Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 11


0 posted 2002-11-17 10:39 AM



I've stopped shaking.  my eyes have stopped watering.  i am numb.  i am impervious to the cold.  i am oblivious to the wind.  i can't feel anything.  i don't remember the last time i could.  i am aware that i am slowly freezing, dying, yes i know.  but i am lacking the incentive to do anything about it.  you could say i am giving up, giving in, letting it win.  I remember all the times i tried.  The times i stood up and took a step forward, goal in sight, only the end up on my back.  it didn't take long to get used to the view from the bottom.  Each time i stayed down a little longer, and each time i missed the sun a little less.  i never imagined that eventually i wouldn't be able to get back up, no matter how much i wanted to.  but there is solace,  i see a light,  and i have stopped shaking.

© Copyright 2002 theSunflower - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2002-11-17 10:46 AM


so are you saying that poetry writes you?

This was fantastic in its descriptiveness of how you were feeling...or at least the speaker of the poem. Quite a powerful piece and the last line, I believe, is an excellent portrayal of the name you've chosen for yourself.  Well done and WELCOME!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2002-11-17 10:49 AM


Strong intense presentation on the blue...Welcome.
Poetry needs no specific intention...it just is...and the funny thing...all it takes is one hand to stand...
Look forward to reading more. ThisDiamond

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-11-17 10:50 AM




     ~WELCOME TO PASSIONS~

Enjoyed your first post. No one with a name like theSunflower could stay down too long, I hope, if this is about you.  And, by the last line of your verse, it sounds like the character is finding their way up, hopefully to a much brighter outlook.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I have certainly felt that way. You captured my past, deep depression quite well.

Again, welcome and look forward to more of your posts.

Hugs and warm regards to you, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-11-17 10:51 AM


Welcome to Passions!  Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
5 posted 2002-11-17 11:07 AM


...believe what your heart feels...

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2002-11-17 11:40 AM


The Sunflower...

WELCOME  TO  PASSIONS  IN  POETRY


I hope that you will like it here and will
feel right at home amongst this Family Of Friends.
You described emotions and feelings very well in this
poem, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
If this poem is about your own personal feelings, I'm
very glad that you are now looking up.
Thanks for sharing with us.


"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (11-17-2002 11:41 AM).]

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2002-11-17 12:13 PM


Welcome to Passions! Your new home away from home!--and filled with kindred spirits who love to read and write poetry!

Wonderful first write with which to debut!
Highly descriptive--you let your feelings spill right out onto the paper.....

P.S. I love sunflowers! Are you a Leo?--I am

Earth Angel

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

8 posted 2002-11-17 12:53 PM


Welcome Sunflower,
I am looking forward to your work. The sky knows no limit, just ask the sun.

I can relate to this very much and I love the hope that you express.

SimplyGold

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-11-17 01:04 PM




(smiles) Ah, but you do write poetry, and this powerful upbeat debut proves it, you have such amazing talent, I LOVE IT!!! Welcome to Passions, sweet Sunflower, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sunflower, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2002-11-17 01:15 PM


Yes,  I too believe that Sunflower is the
perfect name for you,  after reading this
piece of very descriptive POETRY....

Welcome to Passions,  enjoy!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2002-11-17 01:41 PM



Very descriptive opening post!
I look forward to seeing more of your work.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

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