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Open Poetry #23
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Martie
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California

0 posted 2002-11-15 05:18 PM




This is a memory of sky, scattered,
the sound the sun made in the air,

"slow down     slow down,  
for now
walk along this dream
where sand holds your foot
not quite long enough to drown."

Yes, when I was there
I could see that road in the water.

Perhaps,

if it was made of fine threads
laying across to another paradise,
I could walk with wings folded
and place my weary there.

Through time a spirit gives and takes,
the movement dashes castles made of sand,
a foundation made of ash
blow it out   blow it out
and hold the rock inside with open hand.


[This message has been edited by Martie (11-15-2002 05:44 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-11-15 05:20 PM



This whole poem needs to be rewritten by any fine poet's hand, and presented to you in a scroll, wrapped in ribbon fine, as a present...

for that is how I received it.

Brava Poetess, Brava...

Magnus
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2 posted 2002-11-15 05:24 PM


Yes Martie,  I agree totally with Sun ...

This should be a gift to you...very nicely
depicted in your words..

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
3 posted 2002-11-15 06:07 PM


Yes, when I was there
I could see that road in the water.

how true, how true this is! You have a fine eye for details (the ones most others miss)

Cor

Mistletoe Angel
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4 posted 2002-11-15 06:10 PM




(smiles) Oh my gosh, I just adore that idea, that to me would feel like an Olympic winning athlete bringing home sand from the volleyball or track and field sandbox, to have the special poem returned to you in that form, yay! (kiss on cheek) Your wonderful words had me feeling I was walking on the beachside, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (11-15-2002 06:10 PM).]

Cpat Hair
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5 posted 2002-11-15 06:18 PM


yes... this is such that you should be given...

wonderful work my friend..

Auguste
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By the sea
6 posted 2002-11-15 06:18 PM


I'm keeping this one.   *hugs*

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

garysgirl
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7 posted 2002-11-15 06:23 PM


Same as Michael, sweet Martie. Thanks for sharing.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2002-11-15 06:31 PM




Dear Marti,

How beautiful is this.....
too many thoughts and lines to quote back to you, but this:

"I could walk with wings folded
and place my weary there." is
awesome!

And, you chose a perfect picture to go with this magnificient poem.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Hugs to You,
and God Bless
Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
9 posted 2002-11-15 08:00 PM


Martie...May I just echo Karilea...and add
WOW!!!
Well done sweet poetess and I LOVE the pic.
~Hugs~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

Nightshade
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just out of reach
10 posted 2002-11-15 08:27 PM


My goodness Martie, your writing never ceases to amaze me!! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2002-11-15 10:05 PM


This is a memory of sky, scattered,
the sound the sun made in the air,

"slow down     slow down,  
for now
walk along this dream
where sand holds your foot
not quite long enough to drown."

Yes, when I was there
I could see that road in the water.
=========================================

We seem to be of the same mind...I too am returning to touch the warm again...
still drawn to the tide...it now moves inside me...
the memories are almost as sweet.
beautiful write Martie-girl

No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ...
and I never saw blue like that before.

~Tom Kimmel~

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
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Michigan
12 posted 2002-11-16 12:58 PM


This is a memory of sky, scattered,
the sound the sun made in the air,

Oh how perfectly lovely, Martie...
~ loving chipmunk hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
13 posted 2002-11-16 04:48 AM


I can't explain it - but it is like you take something which is not ordinary and turn it into the extradordinary, and in so doing, I see it clearer.  Tomorrow I shall stop to listen to the sound the sun makes in the sky Martie, and this I do because of you.  My, but we are honored reading your work.  I am in absolute awe of your writing every single time.  

                
Let there be peace on earth,
and let it begin with me.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
14 posted 2002-11-16 04:57 AM


Geez! You have a way about you that just makes my mouth fall open and makes me think "wow"
Sandpiper
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since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
15 posted 2002-11-16 07:35 AM


"This is a memory of sky, scattered,
the sound the sun made in the air"

Exquisite!

"I am a sky where spirits live.
Stare into this deepening blue,
while the breeze says a secret."
Jelaluddin Rumi

brian madden
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since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
16 posted 2002-11-16 10:46 AM


Martie, the picture of the ocean fits perfectly in with the poem. Your words are in themselves an ocean, changing from calm to stormy, with vast depth, both calming and dark corners. It makes the poem all the more powerful. This is a piece that whispers its emotions, allowing the reader to explore as deep as they are willing to go. I hope the waves will settle soon.

I used to make phantoms I could later chase images of all that could be desired then I got tired of counting all of these blessings"h.devoto magazine

VAS
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since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
17 posted 2002-11-16 11:58 AM


Spellbinding!

Martie, I just love this and especially the line "place my weary there," that is supberb. What a glorious feeling of peace this has.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
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Tamarac Fla
18 posted 2002-11-16 12:41 PM


Martie,
Love the picture, love the poem, love the soul.

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
19 posted 2002-11-16 05:43 PM


"walk along this dream
where sand holds your foot
not quite long enough to drown."

love the lines, love the poem
*s
M

Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

20 posted 2002-11-16 08:53 PM


Wow! You've done it yet again, Martie! Oh those beautiful portraits you paint with your words outdo even such beautiful photos!
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
21 posted 2002-11-16 09:51 PM


Thank you so much for such generous replies to this poem.  I was surprised that so many found it appealing, as my feelings were so "scattered" when I wrote it.  

[This message has been edited by Martie (11-17-2002 11:29 PM).]

Goodknight
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since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
22 posted 2002-11-17 06:41 PM


lovely lovely writing dear Martie - your scttered thoughts weave images that dance on many hearts - your poems are wonderful - Paul
vandana
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23 posted 2002-11-17 06:41 PM


nice
Paul Wilson
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24 posted 2002-11-17 10:49 PM


Martie~ Very touching and wonderful poem.

Perhaps,

if it was made of fine threads
laying across to another paradise,
I could walk with wings folded
and place my weary there.

I really feel the emotion in the above stanza. To be with that special one in your heart...Paul

Dark Angel
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since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

25 posted 2002-11-19 03:22 PM


Oh how beautiful you write Martie, it is always a pleasure to read you m'dear friend

Maree

scorpio
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since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
26 posted 2002-11-19 04:29 PM


Yes this is a "WOW"!!!!  and the picture takes it even higher!!!

...believe what your heart feels...

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
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Realms of Light
27 posted 2002-11-19 06:37 PM


Martie  ~ Just add me to one of the lists of your legions of fans!

Linda

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