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Open Poetry #23
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vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2002-11-14 10:51 PM



~*Fallen Castles*~

A lonely night
       and I...
deep in remember...
suddenly shattered
       by forgotten words
of love

a landslide of emotions
       my heart is heavy
buried beneath rubble
of fallen castles
of kings and kingdoms
       never meant to be

a dream juggled away
at my own hands...
and I...
       the court jester

yet still...
I remember

       you...



"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (11-14-2002 10:57 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2002-11-14 10:57 PM


I can hardly breathe! I have been there and you have expressed this so well--and very poetically! Fine writing!

EA

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2002-11-14 11:02 PM


nice little vignette here Virgil. it does what many cannot - capture the emotion, rather than tell about it. coolies.
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
3 posted 2002-11-15 03:33 AM


Smashing, darlin'. Smashing. (like I just spoketh to you.) Anyhow.

Sincerely,
Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
                       -Socrates

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-11-15 11:50 AM




(big hugggssssss) Oh Vicky, this is so sadly heartfelt, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I unerstand how so much of chivalrous love has been imploded down to ashes yet know it still exists and everyone in the world will find true joy! (kiss on cheek) This is heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Vicky, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2002-11-15 11:51 AM


Such deluge on impact...excellent write!
ThisDiamond

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2002-11-15 12:04 PM


Vicky, your poetry never ceases to amaze me. You write everything with such feeling and emotion, regardless of the subject.....even about a "paperclip"!! HeeHee!!
Thanks for sharing your talent.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (11-15-2002 12:05 PM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-11-15 12:05 PM


a dream juggled away
at my own hands...
and I...
       the court jester

yet still...
I remember

       you...

===================================


ahh..the ache..the angst ...
and the impact of those last lines.......
ya know what I say....
tis not easy being a moth
Beautiful bittersweet write poetess Vicky!!

No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ...
and I never saw blue like that before.

~Tom Kimmel~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2002-11-15 01:34 PM



...deep in remember...

To visit the past,
see the roads taken,
but lay no regret at yesterdays door...

because there is no one there
to answer,
and better to see through the
windows
to the new lanes
that are before us...

kick some red-gold-yellow
leave with me
for in our stroll
we amble towards tomorrow...

and all that is yet
to come.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2002-11-15 02:01 PM


Vicky

There is much impact in the emotion of the memory, and the final lines just tie it up, as if with turth.  Wonderful, bittersweet write.

GOlDsparklESS
Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428
central nj
10 posted 2002-11-15 07:05 PM


enjoyed this very much. i can relate,  because i feel like an idiot, crushed under some forlon, fallen castle.
majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
11 posted 2002-11-15 07:14 PM


magical. the emotion jumped right out at me.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

~K
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 104

12 posted 2002-11-15 11:42 PM


Masochistic jesters
juggle fireballs
& set the castle ablaze
with a majestic flourish

~K

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
13 posted 2002-11-15 11:52 PM


neat write yuh jongaluer (sp?)
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
14 posted 2002-11-16 06:36 AM


wonderful vick!..i really like that one!!  

hugs, g

"dont cry because its over, smile because it happened...!"  -unknown

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
15 posted 2002-11-16 05:06 PM


second read ...   this one hurts...

you wrote that stuff right in there very well my friend...i have had my own remembers...such as this...and while reading thru this time, i was touched by the ache a few times...just remembering..how it felt...wow..takes the breath away, that ache does.......

lv,g

"dont cry because its over, smile because it happened...!"  -unknown

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
16 posted 2002-11-16 05:45 PM


sometimes you read a poem and  have no words to say...this is one of those times
hugss
M

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
17 posted 2002-11-16 05:54 PM


enjoyed
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
18 posted 2002-11-16 05:57 PM


Vicky,  this is a very awesome poem,  of
the loneliness of the jester,  standing
alone in the court,  the ruins of a castle
at her feet..... said very well,  so poetic.
Enjoyed...

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

19 posted 2002-11-16 09:07 PM


Excellently expressed, Vicky! And beautifully, too!
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
20 posted 2002-11-16 09:09 PM


This one really touches my heart. I know the feeling well.
Well written my friend.

Hugs,
Deb

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
21 posted 2002-11-17 12:33 PM


This just reaches out and slaps the reader in the face, Vicky....
It awakens the senses and is written with so much heartfelt emotion...
a wonderful write
~ loving chipmunk hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

cpalmer
Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977
Phoenix, Az
22 posted 2002-11-19 04:14 PM


Gorgeous as always!
Hugs
Cindi

moonflower
Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 37
magical land of make-believe
23 posted 2002-11-19 04:20 PM


this just reaches out and grabs the reader..i absolutely love the way you write!..will read this many times..

inside every soul there is music...let the music play

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
24 posted 2002-11-19 05:28 PM


Hello Vicky

Your words were so heartfelt and so well written.  The images portrayed through your words were breathtaking......I loved it!

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

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