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Open Poetry #23
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Signs
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Signs |
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luvlorn322 Junior Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 43 |
Signs At first it was dismissible, you burning them into the corners of my eyes from the back seat like a fountain pen dragging ink back to its address. It read with pauses at the blotches, but it was perfectly legible each time I shifted to reverse, turning to the rear window with my arm embracing the front seat much the way she would usher you off at the end of the night, as if you needed the guidance or… persuasion. Then there it would be again, the eye and the mischievous half smile that went with your salutation like a hyphen. I thought, if I was a good friend I should discount my instincts as a woman. So, I just laughed to myself and shook my head like it was nothing. Later, it was subtle. I was drunk (you knew I must have been) and you were online with my roommate, who thought it would be funny to mess with you so, we took turns being bold with the keyboard and you were cautious until you knew who was saying what. Then it became clear, that you didn’t want to hear anything from him. You wanted to challenge my abstinence, snatching my white collar with distaste, pressing for the admission I was so close to giving with a few key strokes and the send button. I backed off and chocked it up to humor (and a few beers) but, you weren’t buying the plea. You seemed so smug that you finally had me, there, ready to choke, like you had been waiting and now here it was, the yes box circled like we were back in third grade, passing notes. I just slept it off and let it slip back beneath the surface, where being human wasn’t hurting anyone. Then it got worse. I found myself drinking more when she brought you over, just to mask the frustration and hold my head underwater like maybe the signs would be too damp to read when I came up spitting salt for breath. Well, they weren’t and it was my move. So, I set up this conversation where I said that you were damaged goods and too whiney to be my type even if you broke up in five years. You forgave me for being honest but, I could sense the agitation through each response and wondered if that meant you tested positive. I thought I did a good thing, I thought, “this will knock out the halogen lights and black out the bold lettering” Then I saw the message flashing; Temporary delays. Joking around became an excuse for physical contact and every comment like an hour of foreplay. The more we talked, I looked at you different, moving past the two prongs of attraction I became interested. You were changing too, acting suspicious. It cocked my head with curiosity and bunched my worry lines until my eyes were squinting. Where was this going? What did you mean when you said you missed me? I thought, a good friend would ignore her instincts but, I was a red-blooded woman with feelings tied up in two big knots at opposite ends of rope, s p l i t t i n g. It became a tug of war between my heart and my head and those fights are never fair. It seemed overnight, everything had progressed and at first I was scared that I couldn’t reciprocate what I was picking up from your end. Then I was so disconcerted because I looked into your eyes knowing that I could and part of me wanted to, deep down. But I would NEVER… would you? No… Things got so blurry with all the insinuations, all I had were my instincts as a woman but, I could still see what was coming and it was no way to treat a friend. By all accounts, what the sign said all along was STOP! but, your eyes were green with solicitation when I held them to mine, searching for something fixed. Your smile was mischievous and open, the unspoken language clawing at my self-restraint like a wildcat, raging and ravenous. I tried to be a good friend but, I wasn’t. |
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| © Copyright 2002 luvlorn322 - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow.... but was it worth it? To follow those insticts? I sure hope so, cause I read the signs and they said, "proceed with caution"  great write  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
a compelling write... when i read it the second time I was drawn to the way it progressively tightened the tension... very nicely done |
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luvlorn322 Junior Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 43 |
Thank you, actually i didn't act on it, my friend confronted me about us flirting and it was pretty bad and awkward at first because my first instinct was to protect the woman i loved rather than to be completely honest with my friend. It's been awhile now and they have been broken up for two months, but i haven't quite forgiven myself for what i almost did (if she hadn't confronted us when she did, i might not have been able to restrain myself much longer) and i can't stop thinking about her, but i'm trying. |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Extremly beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing. I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait. |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Oh yeah, and sense i never greeted you, Welcome to passions! I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) I can understand this feeling ever so well, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I'm glad all was forgiven for it would be such a tight situation I could imagine! (sigh) This is very heartfelt, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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