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Open Poetry #23
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2002-11-09 07:02 AM


Mélange

A mélange of thoughts sways my mind
A rampage of sorts stays to blind
The river runs in charge too fierce
The sea roams to large to pierce.

A windmill of wind billows my sail
A playbill of breeze willows my bale.
The ship lists with rot and wage
And ropes fail from brine and age.

A steerage by stars mark my night
The shadows of light stain the right.
And doldrums of naught drains my goal
And apathy thwarts my soul

The filigree turns to phantoms bale
And phantoms turn to wiles of Braille
And reaching out in blind mans bluff
   To sneeze the passage of the snuff

The real to me has lost its zeal
So now we seek a softer heal.
  

© Copyright 2002 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2002-11-09 08:23 AM


Good morning Sey.   I see so many things within this piece, it is very artful and this line

The real to me has lost its zeal
So now we seek a softer heal.


speaks so much.  well done m'friend.

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-11-09 08:33 AM


Sey,

Really enjoyed that poem... Thank you for sharing.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-11-09 08:40 AM



A melange of meringue!  Smiling with a good morning Sy!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2002-11-09 08:44 AM


Beautifuil morning write as always Sy,
Much enjoyed.
~Morning hugs~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2002-11-09 09:01 AM


Connel
My pleasure thanks for the read and comment.

Gentle Spirit
A gentle reply, thank you.

Sunshine
Good morning love.

Enchantress
Have a good one, thank you sweet.

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
6 posted 2002-11-09 09:08 AM


Sy, thank you for this. I so love reading your poems first thing in the morning. Tea time!

Hugs, Marti

"I am not afraid of STORMS
for I have learned how to sail my
SHIP."              Louisa May Alcott

(I'm not changing this for anyone!)

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-11-09 10:23 AM


The river runs in charge too fierce
The sea roams to large to pierce.
======================
A windmill of wind billows my sail
A playbill of breeze willows my bale.

The ship lists with rot and wage
And ropes fail from brine and age.

A steerage by stars mark my night
The shadows of light stain the right.

And doldrums of naught drains my goal
And apathy thwarts my soul

The filigree turns to phantoms bale
And phantoms turn to wiles of Braille
And reaching out in blind mans bluff
   To sneeze the passage of the snuff

===========================================

How am I supposed to pick fave lines when they all are so cool and clever ...
so many witty words plays,images, analogies and personifications masterfully wrapped up in your infinite gift of rhyme and cadence....

A windmill of wind billows my sail
A playbill of breeze willows my bale.


just look at the word play and internal rhymes in these delightful lines

and these....

A steerage by stars mark my night
The shadows of light stain the right.


these will be may WAAAAAY COOL lines for the day...

"shadows of light stain the right"

Yeppers....youre so KEWL!!!  

Now...about that "softer heal"?
call 555-tinkerbell   *L*


*winkiewinkie*



No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ...
and I never saw blue like that before.

~Tom Kimmel~

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

8 posted 2002-11-09 10:39 AM


Sounds like rough passage....here's to a calmer sea.
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
9 posted 2002-11-09 10:44 AM


enjoyed this melange of your thoughts very much



Charisma

dougsbird21
Member
since 2002-11-08
Posts 52
London(from TX though)
10 posted 2002-11-09 11:16 AM


hello i don't like alot of rhyming poems...dunno why...but yours is neat! I think it takes talent to write a rhyming one, even though most people are of the opinion rhyming poetry is easier than non-rhyming..I disagree. Also, reading this poem is calming...just the way in which you layed it out.

Lisa

"Write what you feel, not what u think you should feel."

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2002-11-09 12:28 PM


Mr. Seymour, another good poem with your sweet air of elegance. I love the way you write, Sir. I wish I could write like you. I also love the way you rhyme your words. That's my favorite type of poetry. I personally can understand it a lot better, for some reason. But whatever style you choose, dear friend, would be simply beautiful, I'm sure.
Thanks for sharing with us.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~
                  

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2002-11-09 05:13 PM


Marti,
Hugs back and thank you.

JM,
You always send a delightful reply.
That takes me into the sky
And there I find a butterfly
Winking, winking an eye.
What was that number again?
WWRS :loveya.

RSWells
Thank you my friend.

Thank you Charisma

Lisa,
Enjoyed your comment, thank you.

garysgirl
Thank you for the read and wonderful reply.

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2002-11-09 08:21 PM




(smiles) Oh Seymour, this is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, you always arrange your thoughts like the desserts on a buffet table and have us all taste a bit of every one, this is gorgeous, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2002-11-09 09:30 PM


Noah,
Thank you for the read and bump. Always enjoy your comments.

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
15 posted 2002-11-10 02:20 AM


Now just why did this leave me feeling sadness?  Doldrums you?  Oh heavens I will have to come and liven things up for y'all won't I?

                
Let there be peace on earth,
and let it begin with me.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
16 posted 2002-11-10 07:52 AM


Sharon,
Now that would be just lovely.

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