»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #23
»
First Storm
| Open Poetry #23 |
|
First Storm |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
 First Storm The patio is dimpled with the play of fast fingers performing from the closed sky the rhythm like heart beat on and on without the crash of cymbal I waited for after so many dry nights it is shinning the imperfect truth into just another ordinary where is the thunder of the first storm the one that froze my attention and made my shoulders into wings ( was it real) the vibration is still in my memory and I feel my heart at the edge waiting to see the slash of light I see now how it is how the river runs though the alley and out into the wisdom of the street daring the curb so slam the window shut where dust is still clinging to summer the changing is timed and cannot be taken back |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
This was truly wonderful. Thank you, I enjoyed this very much. Kielo According to statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds. I don't know who this fellw is, but I know where to find him. |
||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
so slam the window shut where dust is still clinging to summer the changing is timed and cannot be taken back speaks to many things on many levels my friend.... as usual you paint the images for us all to see through your eyes and heart.. |
||
garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Martie, with your words you can make something beautiful out of even an old storm. BTW, I like the black cat in the picture, too. I have a black cat named "Baby". He's my other four-legged baby, besides my little dog, Scooter. "Love makes the world go around" |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh my gosh, I just love the way you describe everything, sweet friend, it's almost like the sidewalk is like a battlefield and the winds of summer are challenging the zephyrs of autumn and no matter what, the challenger always wins and the memories of summer are the leaves lying there! (kiss on cheek) This is breathtaking, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Martie your images so defined greet the reader and take them to that place where your words come alive. Very well done m'friend. |
||
|
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
FantasMartietic~ *Huglets* sweet Sis~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
the other day I thought the same.. the end of summer, the closing of my windows...and the cold, wind and rain, all around. Your words always produce a visual sensation, even without the pictures. *S M |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
The Cpat took my lines... ah, that's okay... I'm sure this poem made his day... it sure made mine! |
||
|
Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Oh my, Martie, I can almost feel the electric of the lightening and thunder in the air. Loved the line: 'Slam the window shut where dust is still clinging to summer'!!! Thank you for sharing your storm with our imaginations!! Pen how you truly feel... |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Martie, this lent a whole new angle of appreciation to our first local "storm"... the last two stanzas are especially amazing. Thank you for the fresh air. Now, where ARE those cymbals? -MVS "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" |
||
|
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
You've captured the rain so well in this piece, Martie. Your imagery is both original and lovely.  *hugs*The stars will shine when I am gone, |
||
|
Contabo Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159 |
I enjoyed this much. You captured an event so special in a special way. Contabo |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The patio is dimpled with the play of fast fingers performing from the closed sky the rhythm like heart beat on and on without the crash of cymbal I waited for after so many dry nights it is shinning the imperfect truth into just another ordinary ================================ so slam the window shut where dust is still clinging to summer the changing is timed and cannot be taken back ================================== I saw the weather report that Calif was getting heavy rains and thought of you and the drought all summer....may the wet heal the scorched as soulfully as the rain inspired your pen. No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ... |
||
|
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Very descriptive, I enjoyed this, adding to my library. "Sticks and stones will break my bones, |
||
|
Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Descriptive.. I enjoyed.. Thanks for sharing. I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait. |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
the rhythm like heart beat on and on without the crash of cymbal I waited for after so many dry nights some fantastic images here, especially love the lines "the one that froze my attention and made my shoulders into wings ( was it real)" excellent write, Martie. I used to make phantoms I could later chase images of all that could be desired then I got tired of counting all of these blessings"h.devoto magazine |
||
|
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
 splendid writeCharisma |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Unique and lovely, as always, Martie! |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful dear Martie. So very much enjoyed. ~Hugs sweet poetess~ ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
||
|
Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
You are masterful at using words to create images--applause! |
||
|
Robert Adamson Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 328PA/USA |
I see the smile even in the storm. Thank you. etoodog |
||
|
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - the seasons change and even though we have been through it before it seems to be a first each year and you capture so many wonderful thoughts and images of this first. I enjoyed it lots - Paul |
||
|
Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Martie, =========================== the vibration is still in my memory and I feel my heart at the edge waiting to see the slash of light I see now how it is how the river runs though the alley and out into the wisdom of the street daring the curb so slam the window shut where dust is still clinging to summer the changing is timed and cannot be taken back ================================== I want one of those! You know I can't write free verse. But I sure enjoy the writings of those who can. Just wonderful Martie. Thanks. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. [This message has been edited by Larry C (11-11-2002 11:04 AM).] |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Thank you for bringing the storm to me! I needed that! ~ May the thunderstorms in your life leave you cleansed and invigorted! Linda |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
