navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Shadows of the Sage
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic Shadows of the Sage Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2002-11-07 07:20 AM


Shadows of the Sage

I walked in shadows of the sage
I read the fruits of human age
I felt the Braille of species mind
Yet still I grope a sense of blind.

I’ve tried to edit forever’s yield
Within the loop of natures field
And felt the dust of change per-se
Yet still am held in night’s dismay.

There is no scale to weight the dust
No scale to hold the counter thrust.
No pole to hold the cross of bar
We’ll never know just who we are.

Forgive this child of natures need
This seed of question of its deed
I’m sure it is the scheme of things
No matter what the future brings

Perhaps the stars will show the way
Humanity perhaps will stay.
Perhaps there is a plan of rhyme
Perhaps we’ll see the end of time’

But soon I’ll lay me down to sleep
And there will wait the change of reap.

© Copyright 2002 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2002-11-07 07:25 AM


As the sleeper meets the reaper
The questions all come to naught,
As the keeper takes the sleeper
The answers all are then brought

Gloom

ccvulture
Junior Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 16

2 posted 2002-11-07 08:01 AM


Hmm, not bad, not bad. Compact and neat, although some of the rhyme could be more imaginative and some is a bit contorted.

I like the autumnal flavour.

CCV

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-11-07 08:10 AM




(smiles) I love the natural twist of this, sweet friend, I am sure we will find reasons along the way and the stars and grain yield great significance of its own to guide us! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2002-11-07 08:15 AM


Professor Gloom
Good retort, thank you.

ccvulture
Good critic, enjoyed your comments.

Noah,
Thank you my friend.

[This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (11-07-2002 02:00 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2002-11-07 09:03 AM


Have I told you lately what a joy it is to wake up to your words?
Well it sure is Sy love..
Much enjoyed this morning's read.
~Morning hugs~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2002-11-07 09:03 AM


Seymour~

'But soon I’ll lay me down to sleep
And there will wait the change of reap.'


Kind sir ... you never shortchange the reader~
I am so happy that you are a poet ... my pleasure always to read your thoughts~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
7 posted 2002-11-07 09:12 AM


quote:
There is no scale to weight the dust
No scale to hold the counter thrust.
No pole to hold the cross of bar
We’ll never know just who we are.


Friend Sun printed "The Golden Key"
a poem of wise, written by thee
I think this one might tip the scale
for once again, you've slipped the veil

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2002-11-07 09:34 AM


Enjoyed the read, muchly, I loved this stanza best, too, as LW did:

There is no scale to weight the dust
                                                       No scale to hold the counter thrust.
                                                        No pole to hold the cross of bar
                                                       We’ll never know just who we are.

A great read for early in the morning.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
9 posted 2002-11-07 09:35 AM


As always excellent, with a prophetic feel to this piece.  Liked the comments you received too.  Smiles all the way.
ThisDiamond

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2002-11-07 09:37 AM


I've tried to edit forever's yield
Within the loop of natures field
And felt the dust of change per-se
Yet still am held in night’s dismay.

There is no scale to weight the dust
No scale to hold the counter thrust.
No pole to hold the cross of bar
We’ll never know just who we are.

Forgive this child of natures need
This seed of question of its deed
I'm sure it is the scheme of things
No matter what the future brings
========================================


Look at you working this theme to poetic perfection...so many clever analogies, word play and wise man lines wrapped in rhyme divine...I do so love the way your mind works....

I felt the Braille of species mind
Yet still I grope a sense of blind.

If YOU are blind...then the rest of us have been walking into walls for years
You blind? NOPE...and we see what we missed when we see thru your eyes of wise.

now use those pools of wisdom to give me a winkie or two *L*

*winkiewinkie


No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ...
and I never saw blue like that before.

~Tom Kimmel~

Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
11 posted 2002-11-07 10:48 AM


I enjoyed this poem a lot!!!  Beautiful lines!!!

Neeraja

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
12 posted 2002-11-07 10:51 AM


I really enjoyed that poem.. Ill keep an eye out for your newer poetry..

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
13 posted 2002-11-07 10:52 AM




Sy, if you never do another good thing in your life, I'm telling you it is okay!

  ~ for your poetry writing and the gift of it to us, and the pleasure and the knowledge and the wisdom we receive, should forever and ever, put you in good stead ~

And, how you manage to do this on a daily basis is something to ponder.

Enjoyed this most perfect poem a great deal. And, am constantly learning from your poetry.

Thank you,
Warm Regards,
Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2002-11-07 11:38 AM


Sy

You are very special!


vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
15 posted 2002-11-07 11:45 AM



Sy~
Nobody writes 'em like you, my friend...nobody.
I enjoyed this very much.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
16 posted 2002-11-07 02:20 PM


Enchantress
Afternoon hugs back.

Marge,always a pleasure to read your comments.

Lady In White
Thank you dear lady.

VAS
A joy to read your reply.

ThisDiamond
Thank you for the smiles.

JM,
You are my winkiewinkie twinky
And I'm your Randy Stinky.
And we will have some raspberry tea
If Randy will but fly me.

Neeraja
Thank you for the beautiful.

Connel
Thank you so much.

Pat,
Flattery will get you everywhere. LOL
Thank you dear.

Martie
As you are to me.

Vicky,
Thank you so much.



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2002-11-07 08:12 PM


I went and found some more winkies for you...
it just seemed the thing to do.
Now look close into my eyes...
there you will see the butterflies.

Oh yes ... I know they are found there...
'twas you who painted them there with care.


  






and one for Randy too *L*




Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
18 posted 2002-11-07 09:55 PM


JM
You will always be my butterfly.
A butterfly of my phantom eye.
You will always ride my Randy's back
For you have the magic and the knack.
WWRS

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
19 posted 2002-11-07 10:45 PM


Seymour darling heart bumpity bump up you go

Bev de bump came out today
I thought she had gone away
But she still comes out when I call
And so I said raise this one tall

A poem that is so superb
In every sentence every word
Let others read of this victory
Of sense and sensibility

YOU beloved heart can Write
The words that clarify the night
Too often a thought isn’t spared
And then the voice is unheard

But you, who write with humanity
You fill the sight of such as me
So Bev de bump just do the deed
And send it back to the top at speed

You know I love it utterly utterly utterly because you are a wonderful writer and your eyes are pools of wisdom xxxx

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
20 posted 2002-11-08 07:30 AM


Marsha,
Well I guess the bumpity bump didn't do much. But I do thank you for the delightful poem and the kind words. You are a dear.
So hello to your beautiful daughter and stay well. Sy


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
21 posted 2002-11-08 07:31 AM


Marsha,
Well I guess the bumpity bump didn't do much. But I do thank you for the delightful poem and the kind words. You are a dear.
So hello to your beautiful daughter and stay well. Sy


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Shadows of the Sage

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary