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Open Poetry #23
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An Eye out for Dr. Moose...
| Open Poetry #23 |
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An Eye out for Dr. Moose... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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Doc Moose had an accident - at least that is the gist When his face chanced to run into an irate husband's fist. The husband was a boxer, fired a left-hook like a rocket, And knocked our little cheatin' cretin's eyeball from its socket! Doc Moose went to the doctor's but glass eyes would cost three grand. Plastic eyes would cost much more than Doc Moose had on hand. He said, "Doc, you can see I'm broke. My life has not been great. Is there anything that costs a dollar ninety-eight?" The doc said, "Moose, I'd really like to help you if I could But, for that price, I'd have to give you one made out of wood! It wouldn't look too pretty but you'll make it through somehow And it would be much better than the hole you've got there now." Poor Moose sat in his small apartment for a month or more. He wouldn't leave at all and let nobody in his door. His good friend Balladeer said, "Moose, you can't go on this way. There's a party Friday night and you are coming, too - ok?" It took a lot of threatening and heckling by 'deer But finally he got the Doc to get his butt in gear. The party Friday night was in full swing and going strong But Moose sat in a corner in the darkness all night long. "Hey, Doc! You can't just sit there by yourself...get up and dance!" "They'll all laugh at my wooden eye and I can't take the chance." "But, Doc,", the 'deer insisted, "folks don't say cruel things like that... Look! That gal weighs three hundred pounds...nobody calls her fat." "That fellow over there has blotches covering his face Yet no one treats him like he's some weird alien from space. That lady has a wooden leg, for God's sake! Take a chance! Go ask the lady with the wooden leg to have a dance!" "Ok", said Moose, "I'll do it but, if she laughs at my eye I'm going to feel so mortified I'll wish that I could die." "She won't", said 'deer," go ask her now and you will see I'm right. It's time to laugh and joke around and have some fun tonight!" So Moose walked up behind her in a very cautious way. He tapped her on the shoulder, half-inclined to run away. "Uh, would you like to dance?", he said. She turned and said, "Would I !!!!" "SCREW YOU, PEGLEG!!!", Moose screamed out and then began to cry!  |
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| © Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
'Deer..Nobody write a ballad like you...Nobody!  You are the king of comedy! Thanks for the much needed chuckles tonight. ~Hugs~ |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
She cooked the Moose's goose! How sad! ~ * ~ Well, Doc, if you're listening, I'll send you some hard cash, To buy some glass eyeballs And some cream for your rash. Get spiffied up as good as new, The girls won't run away. They'll snuggle up to you Dear Doc And in your arms they'll stay! ~ * ~ Balladeer, this was you at your best! Earth Angle---No, that's my alterego who has an agenda. tehe Earth Angel |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (giggles in delight) Oh my gosh, now you know it takes two to tango, not 1 1/2! ROTFL!!! This is hilarious, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
You know I adore your humor Balladeer Geez, whenever I have to say 'would I?' in future I'll probably start giggling and nobody will know why  Keep them coming Deer and I will sit here all night...waiting for you and another giggle  Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
I guess Doc Moose has asked for this with his pie, right in your face but geez louise there was no bliss for the girl there in that place what did she do that was so bad that she should suffer this disgrace I know Doc Moose is quite the cad but still he could have shown some grace you've painted him in colours black and that poor girl was mortified she didn't want this sad attack why was his anger fuelled by pride? and why? I ask the question now is there no punishment to come Why wood his eye let him allow to do this deed, cause he was dumb! just because he saw the mote was no cause to insult thus drill holes in his sinking boat and give him cause to cry and cuss thus when all is said and done and he takes the log from his own eye he'll learn there is a price to fun and not, Deer, Toe or John decry Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, I'd say that tee off shot was about 300 yds. Enjoyed |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ball-Deer, you sure know how to come back at 'em, don't ya?? Ole Doc Moose is gonna love it!! Love makes the world go 'round (unkown) |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
LOL .... and a wonderful comeback indeed, Michael. Oh, you weave a story well sweet poet ... thanks for the smiles this morning. Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Giggling! Balladeer, I just love to read everything you write. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
You never cease to amaze me Deer one  hehe loved it! Maree |
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Lady in Red Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 147 |
You organized the 'Stute's annual ball and forgot to invite me? But since you're such a "deer" I'll forgive you.  Doc's going to love this! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Look at old Balladeer 'musin' old Moose You're pretty damn good When ya let loose! Anyone that can take this old joke and make something as fine as this has my respect! (Particularly when I'm finally not included) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
chuckling... oh dear, deer! yer so bad, yer good! |
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*Stubby* Member
since 2002-09-19
Posts 122 |
your a naughty boy te te te another good belly ache J thanks |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer dearest heart That had me laughing so much I love it utterly utterly utterly. I’ve been slaving over a hot keyboard for hours trying to get my poor pics uploaded into Webshots, and I really needed a great laugh and you always give me that. Nothing is so good for what ails you as a loud long laugh, and that was an absolute beauty, thank you muchly. You know I really didn’t see the punchline coming at all, I know I should have done but I didn’t, yes I know sometimes I’m none too bright. Absolutely fabulous dear ‘Deer, a first class diamond of a ballad, I love it utterly utterly utterly   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, So good to see you finally getting with the program . This is all that I'd ever hoped for. Lead on, and I will follow. Doc |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ROFL... at both the poem and the responses. LOL I'm with Titia... I just KNOW I'm gonna start laughing the next time I say "Would I!"... and that will probably irritate the boss I'm trying to hustle to please! LOL |
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Elan Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382State of Wide Eye |
So, all of the ne'er-do-wells are converging to give battle...well, let the games [or dances for those in pink tights] begin! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Great stuff, deserving of an answer, however with your permission I'll answer Elan instead. Pink tights just don't seem right on one we have not met. Some of us ain't wound too tight, so roll your dice and bet. The fur will fly, the sky will crack, oh my, oh my," Who's got your back?" "N'er do wells?" Fer sure you joke, Me-thinks your wheel is short a spoke. Doc |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This is great! I've printed it out to show Mom-she might give it a smile, you know. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Off the cuff for you my friend who has them in a thrall. Hope this never, ever ends, my world becoming small. For here is "Chance", the sweetest prize to ever dance before your eyes, in colors and curls she spins and whirls to leave before you realize. She's gone. Doc P.S. No I "Woodn't" |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
lol... Nice poem/short story. Really enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing. I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
way to funny.....so good to read you as it is always a treat to do. loved it Deer ((hugs)) Charisma |
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