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Open Poetry #23
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-11-04 07:25 AM


talk to me in whispers
of these velvet mazes grown
a path of dread where others led--
too many on the path I've known.

talk to me in whimper
I'll feel the velvet of atone--
red cloth in a blanket swept
scratching tears in velvet---wept.

I want to play the blues in type
I want to wang a string in sing...
yearning for myself--realized--
without the taut of string--released...

take this finger from my strength--
stay my hand--strum silence.
let my lip follow each note
like a latin lover's stroke...

lick of lips
and bite beneath---
give me oh the soft
struck heat...

strike the hand and
keep the time---
RUMBA!
of a snake entwined--
take me HOME--
make me mine...

My god...My god
a woman sings---

My goddess--yesssss....
the serpent stings...

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (11-04-2002 07:26 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-11-04 08:55 AM


talk to me in whispers
of these velvet mazes grown
a path of dread where others led--
too many on the path I've known.

talk to me in whimper
I'll feel the velvet of atone--
red cloth in a blanket swept
scratching tears in velvet---wept.

I want to play the blues in type
I want to wang a string in sing...
yearning for myself--realized--
without the taut of string--released...
====================================


what you just did there....with the velvet imagery and metaphor and the rhymes you wrapped it in-- is just pure, unadulterated poetry....
sometimes i wonder if you even realize...
you rock baby.......

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2002-11-04 09:08 AM


"I want to play the blues in type
I want to wang a string in sing...
yearning for myself--realized--
without the taut of string--released..."
IWIHWT!
I'm keeping this one with my favorite witchtunes.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-11-04 02:42 PM


"My god...My god
a woman sings---

My goddess--yesssss....
the serpent stings..."




Yay!!! Wow, oh my gosh, I just love this, sweet friend, rock on! (kiss on cheek) I could almost hear the latin blues reading this and maracas sounding like the serpents rattle, sweet friend, I LOVE IT, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-11-04 02:57 PM


smiling...Noah? I wrote this to Santana...you heard every bit and for that? I'm so grateful!

m'baby Jan? You rock with me...oh Yeah...


AND m'nancy...so sweet with your harmony?

now...if I could only grow some maracas?

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (11-04-2002 02:59 PM).]

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2002-11-04 04:53 PM


Serenity~
This just ROCKS ...
I could feel the rhythm in the rhyme~

Awesome gal~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2002-11-04 05:01 PM


Karen

It's hard to always say the right thing...a poem is such a piece of personal heart...this one just felt like a piece of mine too...hope you don't mind sharing it with me.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-11-14 11:51 AM


"Make me mine."

"Goddess yes, the serpent stings."

*kerslumpf*

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