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Open Poetry #23
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Greeneyes
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since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2002-11-03 05:27 PM


Paint the sky with petals
of a thousand flowers
trace the star-cast shadows

that I could breathe again
upon     earth:

I fell into darkness
      into your amber midnights
your naked hope    laying beside
me  

Whispers fell upon curves of
   the moon
soft yields in silence

echoing how winter feels
    when snow falls
gentle dancers

touching the world
   of my eyes

{you loved winter, the
     ice storms}


I sometimes failed
     to cross the silent
borders of your thoughts

I, the lover, counting
   anxious hours of loss--
veiled light, bronze   colors
glitter of unnamed stars

moving my   lips skyward
    
     {I am where I need to be}   an
angel between worlds  in endless water
pool of tender blue


             how my dreams arrive:


I fell for hours
    splashing into stars



Deep inside the stillness
........I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
........To me

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (11-03-2002 08:10 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2002-11-03 05:47 PM


And so glad we are that our favorite star shines brightly upon us with gems such as this....thank you, Lauren......

Pen how you truly feel...
it is a safety-valve for the soul!
    


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2002-11-03 05:53 PM


"Paint the sky with petals
  with a thousand flowers"...

"I fell for hours
   splashing into stars"....

--just a few of the lines that captivated me.

~Impressive poetic expression.

EA

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2002-11-03 05:58 PM


Lauren - your words are ethereal.  So
delicate,  soft...always as though one were
within a dreamscape...

Nicely done..

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2002-11-03 06:19 PM


Incredibly beautiful Lauren..
Your words ever so gently
caress the page..
dancing down
to splash into the stars
that I never want to end.
You continue to grow
and astound me with
your creative writing ability.
~Hugs sweet poetess~

~Love, like magic, depends on believing.~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2002-11-03 06:22 PM


It read so smooth and tenderly, Lauren...

lovely thoughts to store in mind

M

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
6 posted 2002-11-03 06:42 PM


Oh Lauren, I just loved this. Beautifully written.

Hugs, Marti

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
7 posted 2002-11-03 06:43 PM


Wow! My friend...the BEST of your best...without par...even with the 4th read...

jwesley

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
8 posted 2002-11-03 06:54 PM


Goodness.....this is beautiful.......
amazing poetry. Thanks for sharing
with us.

Love makes the world go 'round (unkown)
with love and hugs from Ethel
                  

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-11-03 07:25 PM




Yay!!! Awwwwwwwww, I just love this, sweet friend, this is a gorgeous vision and had me imagining swimming in the stars! (kiss on cheek) This is gorgeous, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
10 posted 2002-11-03 07:33 PM


Greeneyes - all things I've said about your writings I say once more over again...

BC

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2002-11-03 07:37 PM


             OMG........
THIS is the reason for poetry....THIS is the way one is supposed to feel after reading a poem...breathless..starstruck...sated....

You write such amazing images...such poetically PERFECT verses....

"Paint the sky with petals
of a thousand flowers
trace the star-cast shadows

that I could breathe again
upon the earth:

I fell into darkness
      into your amber midnights
your naked hope    laying beside
me  

whispers fell upon curves of
   the moon
soft yield of silence


echoing how winter feels
    when snow falls
gentle dancers

touching the world
   of my eyes
============================

the lover, counting
   anxious hours of loss--
veiled light, bronze   colors
glitter of unnamed stars

moving my   lips skywards

    
     {I am where I need to be}   an
angel between worlds  in endless water
pool of tender blue


             how my dreams arrive:


I fell for hours
    splashing into stars



============================

I wanted this to go on forever....




Unknown to us, there are moments when crevices open for time to come alive with begining.

John O'Donohue
Conamara Blues

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
12 posted 2002-11-03 08:14 PM


incredible
takes my breath away

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2002-11-03 08:40 PM



I tried.  I tried to find a favorite line...but one led to the other...

smiling here!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
14 posted 2002-11-03 08:42 PM


{I am where I need to be}   an
angel between worlds  in endless water
pool of tender blue

There is comfort in simply being who we are~
(like it or lump it I say)
and as always Dear Lauren I take comfort in your gentle words of knowing.

hugging you~

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2002-11-03 08:53 PM


Sunnyone~

thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your words....so good to see you

~~



Earth Angel~

I appreciate your comments much, thank you...


~~



Magnus~

thank you always for your soft replies....


~~


Enchantress~
you are with a doubt a constant smile to these pages.....
I so appreciate your friendship....thank you sweet lady...hugssss



~~

nakdthoughts~

thank you ~M~ I appreciate your words...

~~

NewEnglandlazurlu~
thank you for letting me know you enjoyed.....hugssssss

~~


jwesley~

thanks my friend.....

~~

garysgirl~

thank you sweet lady for sharing your comment with me....


~~

Mistletoe Angel~
Hi...you....I always appreciate the smile I get when I read your replies....
hon....
~~



Bill Charles~
hugsssss and over again, thank you


~~
Janet Marie~
butterfly sister of my heart.....
you flatter me always...thank you
hugssssss and thank you
for being a shoulder of support......


~~

Temptress~

HI sweet friend.....I appreciate you taking itme to read, and leave your heart notes....hugsssss
~~~~~~~~

Deep inside the stillness
........I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
........To me

Moonlight Romeo
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Senior Member
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982
The heart of you
16 posted 2002-11-04 08:49 AM


I still need to find the feather that you write with, for I find that no pen of heart or mind could write such breaths.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2002-11-04 09:23 AM


Paint the sky with petals
of a thousand flowers
trace the star-cast shadows

that I could breathe again
upon     earth:

I fell into darkness
      into your amber midnights
your naked hope    laying beside
me  

Whispers fell upon curves of
   the moon
soft yields in silence

===================================


came by to inhale the pure beauty of you again....I wonder if you even realize just how beautiful this is........

*sigh*
                    

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

18 posted 2002-11-05 06:21 AM


    
     {I am where I need to be}   an
angel between worlds  in endless water
pool of tender blue


             how my dreams arrive:


I fell for hours
    splashing into stars
Lady Lauren, you are an angel, with a heart of gold.  Your words touch......always......
Luv you.  

If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream...

{On wings of words our spirits fly~ and our souls are free.  ~me}

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
19 posted 2002-11-05 06:59 AM


Your writings have the poetic style of a writer of whom I admire very much, the only difference is that yours is the antithesis in subject matter. Enjoyed.
sigheyes
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 323
the winds of destiny
20 posted 2002-11-05 07:53 AM


sigh~  so beautiful.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
21 posted 2002-11-05 08:10 AM


Lauren,
A bouquet of symbols that captured my heart.  

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
22 posted 2002-11-06 04:21 PM


Hello Lauren

Your words were simply stunning and the images portrayed through your words were amazing.  I hope all is well with you.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
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Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
23 posted 2002-11-09 04:58 AM


Thank you for taking your time to come by...I appreciate all he comments, and though I havent had the time I need lately to come in and read and enjoy....I keep this family close to heart....love to all....


Lauren~

Deep inside the stillness
........I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
........To me

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
24 posted 2002-11-09 09:14 AM


Nice Poem.,

Thanks for sharing.. Enjoyed the read.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

sigheyes
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 323
the winds of destiny
25 posted 2002-11-09 10:00 AM


I am so glad that this came back to the top.  I think it is lovely.
dougsbird21
Member
since 2002-11-08
Posts 52
London(from TX though)
26 posted 2002-11-09 10:06 AM


Keep up the good work with structure..poems written in plain lines without spaces,lack of weird punctuation and odd capitalizations are boring.....step over the line and you'll succeed!

"Write what you feel, not what u think you should feel."

JAR
Junior Member
since 2001-11-06
Posts 34

27 posted 2002-11-24 11:33 PM


LittlL''

how dreams arrive
J'


Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
28 posted 2002-11-25 12:28 PM


I came looking for you, and I'm sure glad I did.  After seeing your post on my writing I wanted to see your work again. It's been awhile since I've read you, and I must say you have such a great talent for this.

A most unique visual appears with your every word.  "Excellent"


Salty

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
29 posted 2002-11-25 07:33 PM


I fell for hours
    splashing into stars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is so much beauty in this poem I hardly know which line is best.
It's all so very beautiful, in words and imagery.

Deb



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
30 posted 2002-11-26 01:33 AM


Beautifully written...James
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
31 posted 2002-11-26 06:50 AM


Like Janet said, I wished this went on forever....

wonderfully captivating writing... muchly enjoyed...

regards,
sudhir

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
32 posted 2002-11-27 08:25 PM


I have been blessed to read much fine poetry today, and this is certainly amongst those offerings!

I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on ~ Jackson Browne

Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
33 posted 2002-11-27 09:06 PM


I am moonstruck and in awe.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
34 posted 2002-11-27 10:20 PM


Brava!! this was absolutly beautiful!!
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
35 posted 2002-11-28 09:50 AM


enjoy your read
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

36 posted 2002-11-28 09:54 AM


I loved that lauren. The images were amaizing, I didn't want it to end.

Never be normal!

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
37 posted 2002-11-28 11:28 AM


I have lost track of the countless reads upon these words ....
as many as the stars I have dreamt of waking to ...
such bright smiles, warm and loving thoughts fill your painted stars.
Sometimes we forget to simply smell the flowers but worse, stand back and see the garden.
I am captured under your green thumb, greeneyes.  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

38 posted 2002-11-28 02:01 PM


Miss you butterfly sister of mine  
Happy Thanksgiving girlie
I bet this one is extra special





Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
39 posted 2002-11-28 08:58 PM


quote:
I sometimes failed
     to cross the silent
borders of your thoughts
and i've wondered why i like reading you so much... peace 'n hugs lady.

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
40 posted 2002-11-28 09:44 PM


My goodness Lauren, this is beautiful!! Library bound it is. I always enjoy your writings as they never cease to make me drift off in wonder...        hugs, Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

[This message has been edited by Nightshade (11-28-2002 09:45 PM).]

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
41 posted 2002-11-29 05:14 PM


Wow, I am so touched by the responses.....thank you all so much for taking your time to read, and leave you heart notes.....love to all....HUGSSSSSS and muwwwaaahhhssssssss


Lauren~

Deep inside the stillness
........I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
........To me

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

42 posted 2002-12-19 01:12 PM


Sad, still and refreshing.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

43 posted 2004-10-09 10:54 AM



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