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Open Poetry #23
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-11-02 01:14 PM



salty aril, seed coat
evidence of former munch
peanut flesh, absent

©November 2, 2002

well, I went back down to puny, the size I can barely read, but at least maybe you will all see that my senyru is on 3 lines.



Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.


[This message has been edited by VAS (11-02-2002 05:02 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2002-11-02 01:28 PM


"aril" is a word I often use in Scrabble because it is easy to fit in and bridge other words.

But I like where you're coming from in this delightful senryu!


P.S. Perhaps if you used a smaller font, your
     poem would not spill over into 4 lines.

EA

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2002-11-02 02:03 PM


hmm, it's only 3 on my page, but I can easily remedy for those using a smaller page.

Too often, I succumb to a larger font, when I haven't used many words to fill the space. hehehehehe

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-11-02 04:43 PM




(sigh) I almost see your haiku on three lines but understand we all have different monitors! (kiss on cheek) I love Spanish peanuts and love eating them with the skin as it has a nice salty taste, this is novel and wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Virginia, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-11-03 10:06 AM



Now I'm hungry....

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2002-11-03 11:45 AM


I  LOVE  the way you do this, Virginia.
Thanks for sharing.

Love makes the world go 'round (unkown)
with love and hugs from Ethel
                  

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

6 posted 2002-11-03 01:26 PM


I don't get it, it is on three lines. Well either way, I loved the poem and enjoyed the image of "Absenece of penut flesh"
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
7 posted 2002-11-03 01:41 PM


Well, Wind, that's because, for one thing you came in after I made it regular size, although, you may have a larger screen, too. No matter, it's small  now.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2002-11-04 05:55 AM


VAS,
a senyru that shows less is more
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



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