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reluctantlyme
Junior Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 34


0 posted 2002-11-01 08:28 PM



Chocolate eclairs, barbecue chips,
cocktail for dinner.

Did you hear that?
Sounded like a voice,
sounded so close.
Cat must’ve stepped
on the answering machine, again.
Lots of voices there.

Though, no longer any translation
from heart to heart.
Only stalling dialogue.
Impede, delay,
throw futile sandbags
against a tide
that will come
as surely as love ends
without need of season.

Brace yourself,
if you think it will help.

I’m going out for cigarettes,
do you need anything?
I won’t be long,
be back before it hits.
We’ll visit
the anesthetic buffet
and you can tell me the story
one more time.

Did I ever tell you,
I saw it once
in silver-grey smoke
drifting toward your sun pierced window?

How you’d loved her.

Before a breeze
dispersed smoke
and perhaps a mirror or two.

I did, I saw it.
You were right to believe.

No matter how good looking she is... someone, somewhere is glad she's gone.
---Davey's helmet

© Copyright 2002 reluctantlyme - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-11-01 08:46 PM


"Before a breeze
dispersed smoke
and perhaps a mirror or two.

I did, I saw it.
You were right to believe."




Wow!!! OH MY GOSH, THIS IS A WONDERFUL DEBUT, this worked as a one-on-one dialogue between yourself and your sunconscious, I LOVE IT!!! Here, this is no anesthetic buffet at all as we all are blessed to have you as part of our poetic family and here may it be a rainbow buffet of inspiration to you, I LOVE IT!!! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2002-11-01 08:48 PM


Welcome to this sanctuary. I nearly gagged over that menu.
Conversations that drift and separate one from the other are futile exercises, aren't they?
Enjoyed the write. I hope you stick around, for there are many who will enjoy your new POV.  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-11-01 09:28 PM


Though, no longer any translation
from heart to heart.
Only stalling dialogue.
Impede, delay,
throw futile sandbags
against a tide
that will come
as surely as love ends
without need of season.

Brace yourself,
if you think it will help.


I'm going out for cigarettes,
do you need anything?
I won't be long,
be back before it hits.
================================

Did I ever tell you,
I saw it once
in silver-grey smoke
drifting toward your sun pierced window?

How you'd loved her.

Before a breeze
dispersed smoke
and perhaps a mirror or two.

I did, I saw it.
You were right to believe.
==================================

This is a complex penning of images and emotion..an angsty, even slightly haunting write...with an interesting edge of both bittersweet and sarcasm to it that added to its poetic impressions.
Welcome to Poetry Land RM ...
I look forward to reading more of your unique style of poetry.  
jm


Unknown to us, there are moments when crevices open for time to come alive with begining.

John O'Donohue
Conamara Blues

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (11-01-2002 09:29 PM).]

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2002-11-01 11:37 PM


I love the style of your writing, with the double meanings I was able to see two sides to this poem.  I loved this part especially and wish I had thought of it   Welcome to Passions and i am looking forward to reading more of your work.

Though, no longer any translation
from heart to heart.
Only stalling dialogue.
Impede, delay,
throw futile sandbags
against a tide
that will come
as surely as love ends
without need of season.

Brace yourself,
if you think it will help.


It never helps.

       
A smile costs nothing but makes someone rich.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-11-02 07:17 AM


Welcome to Passions!  Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2002-11-02 08:59 AM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!
I very much enjoyed your first post!
I'll be watching for more of your work.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Love, like magic, depends on believing.~

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2002-11-02 10:48 AM


Exceptional write and presentation. Welcome to Passions. See you again soon. ThisDiamond
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2002-11-02 11:06 AM


Reluctantlyme ~

Hi, there! This poem manages to be both raw and fresh simultaneously! Now that takes talent to pull that one off!

Looking for more of this "good stuff"!!!

Earth Angel

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2002-11-02 11:22 AM


WELCOME  to Passions. I very much
enjoyed your first post. It was
different in a good sort of way.
Thanks for sharing with us. I look
forward to reading more of your work.
With Love To All,
Ethel

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
10 posted 2002-11-02 01:02 PM


reluctantlyme - Now if your would like to place on the table chocolate eclairs, barbecue chips, and cocktails for dinner never fear, I'll be right over. Now how did you say to get there?

BC

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
11 posted 2002-11-08 11:18 AM


Hi, this is wonderful. A little Rod McKuen in style, which I love.
Hope to see more.
Sandra

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
12 posted 2002-11-08 03:00 PM


yummy..loved it..and welcome!!! hrm..sorry I'm fashionably late...

Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

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