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Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

0 posted 2002-10-30 05:41 AM

it is not pity, but sympathy

i know
that you are a cliff diver

who leapt for the beauty of one feather
and dives for leagues to grasp one pearl

then struggles upward
through oceans
over mountains
to close the distance between your heart and
the sun

falling
rising
battling all odds

so eager for love
you open every heart
just to fill it

oh, still, i know you, i know you…

... there is this block
it is not a wall
it is like a cork sealing a bottle
swelling
and all the understanding and good intentions
surging and rolling backward…

missing the orgasm
oh god
...
yes
it is like that

the sudden stop
the vanish
not an obstruction:
a nothing

pushing against no thing

and i cant get through
cant fight it
god
and everything i want to give him
want to understand of him
want to know of him

to reform

allow the reality of him
to wash out all bitterness
and pain
and assumption
to clean the history
allow us to be reborn
with the purity of strangers

and i cant
i can not
when i speak
god even when i try to think!
past it
over it
through it
im caught
pushing against no thing
and propelled backward
i can never see him
as he is
oh how i hate it
i hate it

i want him to be reborn in my heart
i want to know him
i want to love him

i would dive cliffs for it
over solid ground

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (10-30-2002 08:19 AM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-10-30 05:46 AM

you dove in perfect form---

do you KNOW how talented you are?

this is gracious pen of heart m'sweet.

I know you knew I thought so, but I wanted to let everyone else I thought so too.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-10-30 06:10 AM

I keep reading this...and my gosh..baby, that last line...WEEPS...

incredible.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2002-10-30 07:40 AM

i want him to be reborn in my heart
i want to know him
i want to love him

i would dive cliffs for it
over solid ground

The plea within your heart is heard so loudly in this write Elizabeth. Very intense and lovely.

luvlorn322
Junior Member

since 2002-10-28

Posts 43

4 posted 2002-10-30 08:20 AM

That was very beautiful, i love the whole concept of being inside that corked bottle being shoved around by the ocean, never being able to get where you want to go and the frusteration you express and build with every line, nive work.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

5 posted 2002-10-30 08:26 AM

....
....
who leapt for the beauty of one feather
and dives for leagues to grasp one pearl

then struggles upward
through oceans
over mountains
to close the distance between your heart and
the sun
....
....
allow the reality of him
to wash out all bitterness
and pain
and assumption
to clean the history
allow us to be reborn
with the purity of strangers
....
....
im caught
pushing against no thing
and propelled backward
....
....
i would dive cliffs for it
over solid ground

..........

Wonderful writing... you have special talent in projecting the innermost parts of feelings ... thanks for sharing your works...

regards,
Sudhir

Robert Adamson
Member

since 2002-10-21

Posts 328
PA/USA

6 posted 2002-10-30 02:18 PM

I liked the persistence portrayed here:not ever giving up and a relentless effort. Thank you.

etoodog

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

7 posted 2002-10-30 03:08 PM

i want him to be reborn in my heart
i want to know him
i want to love him

i would dive cliffs for it
over solid ground

-------------

not very good at expressing the "whys" and "whats" of liking a poem, this poem I like ALOT, the sense of conflict and yearning I relate to and some great images and well written lines.

The ladders of life that we scale merrily Move mysteriously around So that when you think you're climbing up, man In fact you're climbing down-Nick ca

reluctantlyme
Junior Member

since 2002-10-28

Posts 34

8 posted 2002-10-30 06:54 PM

the sudden stop
the vanish
not an obstruction:
a nothing

But a nothing of great intensity. You're a very talented writer.

No matter how good looking she is... someone, somewhere is glad she's gone.
---Davey's helmet

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

9 posted 2002-10-31 12:09 PM

Half empty? Half full?

A Hymn of doubt
A Psalm for the conflicted

Lovely

~Ed

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

10 posted 2002-10-31 01:29 AM

This is a very well written, thought provoking poem. I like it a lot.
Thanks for sharing.

Love to All,
Ethel

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

11 posted 2002-11-04 03:16 PM

Let us drown.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

12 posted 2002-11-04 03:33 PM

You have pulled me along with you in this dive, but it somehow feels as if I am soaring, not falling.
Outstanding pull of deep emotions, and superb writing.

monk
New Member

since 2002-11-05

Posts 1
Right here, for now

13 posted 2002-11-05 01:08 AM

This is the best thing I've read here tonight.

Very very good

...fall, mountain,
just don't fall on me....

"Hendrix"

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