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Open Poetry #23
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jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2002-10-29 02:53 PM


Too thin, it was too thin...
she almost made it to
but instead
broke through
she was en-route
again.

She fancied a conductor
an arrival’s welcome whistle
if she had a destination
she would gladly
pay the asking price.
But quicksanded feet
stunt her success.

Her reaching is short sighted.

Backward slips her slope
as if she never started.

Too thin, it is too thin,
she thought that she might
make it  
but then...


[This message has been edited by jellybeans (10-29-2002 03:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
1 posted 2002-10-29 03:46 PM


Softness makes me think of these "legs" I used to have pictures of....And I do mean they were some of the best looking softest looking legs ya ever seen....boy, I sure wish I had 'em...I'd send ya a copy...you'd agree I'm sure
suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana
2 posted 2002-10-29 03:55 PM


if she had a destination
she would gladly
pay the asking price.
But quicksanded feet
stunt her success.

Aw, hon... sometimes the price is just too high, even when we have a destination... and good intentions just aren't always sturdy enough to stop the backwards slide... not when it feels that moving our feet condemns us to sink. *S*

I really like the images you've used here... just wish it wasn't melting with sadness. *S*

suthern
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Louisiana
3 posted 2002-10-29 03:57 PM


Ahem!!! *G* Oh, Toe dear... my baseball bat's not at all soft... and may have to come out of hiding if Lovey's legs do??? LOL
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2002-10-29 04:00 PM


well toe and suthern...I must say....rofg@legs....well those 'legs' used to be young and spritely, now they feel very tired, so maybe they will just stay in hiding...they knew what they were doing when they invented jeans....
and thank you suthern...the quicksand I think is in my mind, and I kept sinking when I tried to add the image to the poem, but you seem to have read it perfectly...thank you lady

Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
5 posted 2002-10-29 04:07 PM


bellyjeans?
suthern
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Louisiana
6 posted 2002-10-29 04:19 PM


Now where's the fairness? *G* If I can read you so well, why the heck can't I write like you? LOL Hunh??? *G*
Marsha
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
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Maidstone Kent England
7 posted 2002-10-29 10:25 PM


JB darling girl this speaks so clearly of a story that needs to wrapped and kept away less it hurt the soul. Wonderful writing darling girl utterly utterly wonderful I love this utterly utterly utterly as always YOUR writing is simply perfect


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

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