My first poem for public viewing.

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diphycue
New Member

since 2002-10-28

Posts 8
Rolla, Missouri, USA

0 posted 2002-10-28 12:53 PM

This is my first post to this thing, I'm writing it in my head as I'm typing it up here, so if it sucks, that's ok. Just have to get some stuff out, and heck, maybe this will help. If you have comments, questions, gripes, complaints, accolades, applauses, sodas, cookies, gratuities, praises, hatreds, condemnations, accusations, or anything at all to say...please don't hesitate, I love feedback, good and bad.
I feel like I'm going to explode,
Like I've got an enlarged M-R Node.
But, instead of power in my brain,
I just feel like I'm going insane.
Mental aberrations growing with taint.
I wish it was just a game, but it ain't.
Can't anyone see through the act?
Am I just a character, soul do I lack?
I don't know the answer to that,
I wish that I wasn't so fat.
So, I pop my pills, and try not to see,
The images my brain shows to me.
Waking nightmares inside my mind,
Searching demons trying to find.
So I run and hide inside my shell,
Seeking a way from this Hell.
I've rambled enough for one day,
Now I have to go away.

Jesse

And, yes...I know it's horrible, I've never been a good poet, stories tend to work out better for me. And as for the first few lines, I've been reading the Aberrant Role Playing Game books, and so that colored what I wrote. Anyhow...the M-R Node is something from the game, it's the part of the brain that gives an Aberrant their supernatural powers. Well, feedback is appreciated.

Saxoness

Senior Member

since 1999-07-18

Posts 1102
Texas

1 posted 2002-10-28 01:25 PM

Jesse!

Oh man...why didn't you tell me you were going to post? This is beautiful in it's rough honesty...just thoughts and emotions tumbling out onto the page. Sometimes it makes for the best stuff. Keep writing! This is so exciting.

"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

2 posted 2002-10-28 01:42 PM

Jesse!!!!!!!

This is a wonderful poem. I loved it. The expression of feeling and everything. By the way my older brother's name is Jesse. So that is cool.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2002-10-28 04:37 PM

Jesse, what a great ramble. Welcome to Passions! Seems like you are on medication now and then...hope it's nothing real serious. Stress can really get to us, can't it!? Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting.

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2002-10-28 06:36 PM

(smiles) Oh Jesse, this is soooooooo powerfully expressed, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I know that soon you will escape and the angels will chase the demons away, God Bless You, this is excellent, my thoughts are with you! Welcome to Passions, sweet Jesse, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jesse, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

SimplyGold
Senior Member

since 2002-07-10

Posts 1453

5 posted 2002-10-28 06:47 PM

Jesse,

You're blowing me away! This is a great start. I can't wait to see what's next.

SimplyGold

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2002-10-28 06:49 PM

Jesse...WELCOME to Passions In Poetry. I truly hope that you enjoy it here as much as I have this past month. I have found this to be a wonderful, loving, caring, compassionate "family of friends" here and I hope that you will feel the same.
Your poem had a lot of very strong feelings in it, and I hope that you will continue to share your poems, and your feelings with us.

Love To All,
Ethel

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

7 posted 2002-10-28 08:03 PM

Hello Jesse

Welcome to Passions and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. You did well in expressing how you feel and I hope you enjoy your time here at PIP.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

8 posted 2002-10-28 09:08 PM

Welcome to PIP my fellow poet...
What courage to post such heartfelt and soul deep emotions...
As beautiful a write as any here...please don't hesitate to hone the obvious gift you possess. Accolades. ThisDiamond

Tammy Blessing
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 366
PA

9 posted 2002-10-28 10:17 PM

Jesse, there is nothing horrible in this poem at all!! Sometimes those tumbling thoughts just need a place to get out, and here's as good as anywhere. Welcome to Passions!! Keep rambling..I'll be looking forward to your next venting!!
Tammy

Pezz1
Junior Member

since 2002-10-27

Posts 33
Scotland

10 posted 2002-10-28 10:30 PM

I'm new to this to Jessie and worried about first posting but the warmth of welcome recieved is encouraging. Thanks for the read liked it alot. Keep posting.

Red
Member

since 2000-01-01

Posts 143
Ca

11 posted 2002-10-28 11:23 PM

Off the top of your head???
Well I certainly am jealous, I wish I could do that well off the top of my head!

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

12 posted 2002-10-29 12:16 PM

the poem was very good.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

13 posted 2002-10-29 12:27 PM

Welcome to Passions, Jesse...
You wrote this right off the top of your head? Well, I think you have lots of talent.
Its a great rant and I know that I often use poetry as a way of getting stuff out also...
Its very therapeutic...
So... keep on writing and posting

~ welcoming hugs from the chipmunk

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

14 posted 2002-10-29 12:35 PM

Venting off the top of your head seems to suit you well. I enjoyed this spontaneous eruption, kind of like an unexpected volcanic event.
Welcome to these blue pages, Jesse!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

15 posted 2002-10-29 01:29 AM

Jesse, welcome to Passions, good to read you...hope to see more.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

16 posted 2002-10-29 10:28 AM

Jesse, Welcome to Passions. Rambling in rhyme is not exactly that easy to do and the sign of a very good poet.

Remember the 'stuff' you ~got out~ is the very poem, others, usually young people, in your position need to hear. They simply don't have the talent you do to free themselves. Knowing by your words, that they are not alone in this battle. I applaud you. And, I hope to see more of your work. It is very impressive!

Warmly,
Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

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