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Open Poetry #23
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-10-22 02:26 PM


pins and needles on my skin--
it's raining information
in this thunderstorm of mind
there is no safe harbor found
just relentless
pounding rain
each drop a bit of fire
inside a child
runs in circles
frantic for some comfort
ground
now weary of such runaround
collapsing in retreat

I am still here--
hear me breathe?
now search the shadows
you will find
me there
a-tremble
in concede
of this small corner
of my mind.


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-22-2002 02:28 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
1 posted 2002-10-22 02:29 PM


Wow! You literally blew my mind with this one. It's excellent. It's powerful. Man, your mind is filled woman, where do you find the place for the lovely words you write. I see now, tis why you write them out, there simply isn't room for them. This is grand. A challenge well met.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2002-10-22 06:00 PM


*smiling* at the reflection of you I see in every word. I too have wondered how you can hold so many words in that pretty head of yours then turn them into rhymes divine...
and into mirrors

Unknown to us, there are moments when crevices open for time to come alive with begining.

John O'Donohue
Conamara Blues

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
3 posted 2002-10-22 06:29 PM


*Bump* Cause I really, really like this.
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
4 posted 2002-11-07 01:50 AM


what can I say... read my mind hehe..obviously I like!

Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2002-11-07 03:22 AM



serenity~
Well, I am very glad that this got kicked back
to the top.  I love this.
There is so much of 'you' in this, my friend.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2002-11-07 01:44 PM


great stuff!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2002-11-07 01:52 PM


Challenge conquered.  Wonderful work Karen!
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
8 posted 2002-11-07 02:33 PM


Karen, you really met the challenge with this one.
I'd like to tell you that I like the way you write. Your personality just oozes out in every word you write. I think it's really something the way you can accomplish this. Sometimes, I can't seem to get my feelings out on paper the way I'm actually feeling them inside. It seems the words just aren't adequate enough. You seem to accomplish what you're aiming for in every write of yours that I read. This is real talent, Karen. Thanks for sharing your personality with us.

Love makes the world go 'round (unkown)
with love and hugs from Ethel
                  

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
9 posted 2002-11-07 10:02 PM


Nice Poem.. Enjoyed.

Thank you for sharing.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

10 posted 2002-11-08 01:50 PM


Oi... Too much life combined with too much depression is depressing. I almost cried. I loved the poem, but I think I'm done reading today. If I can stand to be away, that is. *whispered* Thank you...

Kielo

According to statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds. I don't know who this fellw is, but I know where to find him.
-Morey Amsterdam

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

11 posted 2002-11-14 12:00 PM


I like the corners with streets,
without walls.

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