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Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2002-10-20 11:32 PM

Eventful
©2002 C.G. Ward

short circles.
pacing.
brimming thoughts
of excitable minds,
wheedling smiles
from between the cracks
of a silicon window
looking over the darkness
of our concrete patio
as I wait for your stride
- legs only,
the arms remain stable -
to break the air
between in and out.

a careless glance,
flip the blonde,
then into the bedroom,
changing face and clothes
while I sigh and dial up dinner.

     a blessing,
     to taste the sweat
     from the arch of your brow,
     glistening beneath the blush
     of a forty-watt bulb
     in a lamp from your mother;
     gold and black,
     it ill-fits the décor,
     but what the hell -
     we're only renting.

the sitcom dies and
you smile at an obscure joke,
flick the back of my ear
with a come-hither grin,
then bounce toward the kitchen,
looking for a slice of pie
and a dollop of cream
to top the night's festivities.

and all this time,
I thought you'd forgotten
my birthday.

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

1 posted 2002-10-21 12:02 PM

I know when your birthday is, it's January 23rd.

Kinda intriguing Chris. I enjoyed this. If I can think of anything more intelligent to say, I'll be back.

God bless America, my home sweet home.

FuzzyFrazzledFraggle
Member

since 2002-09-20

Posts 155
Fraggle Rock

2 posted 2002-10-21 12:52 PM

enjoyed..yes that's all my frazzled brain can come up with atm..I do apologize..

Consider yourself fuzzed

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

3 posted 2002-10-21 02:50 AM

Fat Chance!!!!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

4 posted 2002-10-21 05:32 AM

What a thoroughly enjoyed poem, Christopher. A splendid look into your life, and love.

Greatly written. I'd offer some crituque, if I had some, but I don't believe I do.

Sincerely,
Titus

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

(2002 Copyright)

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

5 posted 2002-10-21 05:36 AM

I liked how you used short and (bam!) words/phrases to start the poem, then moved onto longer and longer sentences/phrase. Why did you indent the one stanza? It seemed one of the key stanzas, that and the ending. Did you seperate and vary the stanza length for a particular reason or just flowing with the flow?

Sincerely,
Titus

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2002-10-21 05:52 AM

Yanno what?

this is beautiful:

a blessing,
     to taste the sweat
     from the arch of your brow,
     glistening beneath the blush
     of a forty-watt bulb
     in a lamp from your mother;
     gold and black,
     it ill-fits the décor,
     but what the hell -
     we're only renting.

I loved the voice of this. nice....nice...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

7 posted 2002-10-21 05:56 AM

oh...and? I DO happen to have a very clear reminder of your birthday...grin---as a matter of fact, I should get that "clear reminder" up for school soon...

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

8 posted 2002-10-21 09:36 PM

"a blessing,
     to taste the sweat
     from the arch of your brow,
     glistening beneath the blush"

Kissy Face, I like this part, and reading this feels like peeking in through an open window....

[This message has been edited by SEA (10-21-2002 09:37 PM).]

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

9 posted 2002-10-22 04:56 PM

short circles.
pacing.
brimming thoughts
of excitable minds,
wheedling smiles
from between the cracks
of a silicon window
looking over the darkness
of our concrete patio
as I wait for your stride
- legs only,
the arms remain stable -
to break the air
between in and out.

Hmm, It has a very natural feel, that's how I feel about the poem, it feels natural it feels right. Enjoyed this one alot.

The ladders of life that we scale merrily Move mysteriously around So that when you think you're climbing up, man In fact you're climbing down-Nick ca

secretlife
Member

since 2002-07-30

Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,

10 posted 2002-10-22 06:13 PM

Great poems...
I really love it..

Hugess
Secretlife,
(Easy come,,Easy go)

Robert Adamson
Member

since 2002-10-21

Posts 328
PA/USA

11 posted 2002-10-22 06:30 PM

Yes, I like reading this poem and feel that the way you describe it is perfect.

etoodog

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

12 posted 2002-10-22 07:58 PM

At first I thought it was about Irish dancing, but then I realised it was way too relaxed for that, what a wonderful image of a pleasant, playful evening.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

13 posted 2002-10-22 10:36 PM

How sweet this is, Christopher. Sheer happiness and the perfection of simplicity. Now the secret, want to know it? It's just like the KISS.

Cor

who's that larry guy up there, anyway?

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