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Open Poetry #23
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Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981


0 posted 2002-10-18 01:36 PM



I am lifted
To the city of lights
With colors,
Moving so fast-
Like a movie

Taxis pass-
Like mustard blurs
To fast for me to catch

And the Music plays-
Why am I so cold,
So scared
I have heard this song before

In fast forward,
People walk
taking no notice of me

And the Music plays-
Why am I so cold,
So scared
I have heard this song before

Allies-
Full of people
Sick people
dying people
Angry at the world,
Angry at themselves

And the song ends
And I am lifted away
from a city of lights
With colors
Moving so fast-
like a movie

~Wind~




[This message has been edited by Wind (10-19-2002 11:12 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Liz - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-10-18 01:47 PM


I usually don't read posts that have "please read" in the title, but I have been noticing your activity lately and wanted to check out what you had to offer, so I just popped in...

I am very glad that I did.  This poem is very cyclic... I read it two or three times and it never seemed to begin or end.  How'd you do that?     I have trouble making a poem flow like that, where it goes into and out of itself...

Hmm... you brought a lot of familiar phrases and words back as you went along, like "like a movie," which obviously had something to do with this poem's unique flow...

I am loving the imagery that you used in this piece... particularily the depictions of the taxis blurring past.  To say something blurs is to say that you don't follow it with your eye, but you observe it... an indirect observation, would be to see something blurring... and I can see the symbolism you intended to embody in the "blurring" taxis there.  Everything is so natural to us, we're so caught up being angry and whatnot, that we won't look at things directly... or bother to examine them...

All we see is a blur in the city, "like a movie," which we pay no real attention and is considered non-existent once it is over.

You've greatly impressed me, Wind... I'll try to keep up with more of your postings in the future.  

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-10-18 02:07 PM


Wind....Parasite about covered it all in the reply above, so I'll just say that I enjoyed this poem. I was out of town last weekend    (11th-13th), so I wasn't here when you joined us. I can't remember if I've given you a welcome here to PIP....so, I would like to do so now. I hope that you enjoy all this as much as I do and that this wonderful "family of friends" makes you feel as at home as they have me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

Love To All,
Ethel....garysgirl

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2002-10-18 02:51 PM


Hey thank you for the great messages! I really wanted to share this poem to everyone,
because if you think really hard, it should tell you smething. I'm not going to what, try and figure it out on your own

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-10-19 07:13 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Liz, I finally found the first part of this series, this is indeed very sad and so true and it is time for us all to demolish he evils of capitalism and reach out to those in need of love and health and help them up! (sigh) You speak of such poignant feelings here, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Liz, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2002-10-19 07:23 PM


enjoy
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2002-10-19 08:16 PM


Like this...James
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