navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » satan's shadowing
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic satan's shadowing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-10-17 12:46 PM


He saw demons in his room.
Three figures passed behind his back.
Dressed as druids--hooded monks--
heads in bow with hands in clasp.

"I see demons now," he said.
"I think that they might want me dead."
They've been coming after him--
droning chant of a death hymn.

He was shaken. He cried tears--
this man who won't acknowledge fear.
You can make them go away...
"Help me--I can't live this way."

He wanted solace and my shame
is that I couldn't trust again.
I've never turned my back before--
but I have nothing left to give.

So finally--he sees demons--
I wonder what took him so long.
I have seen them--in legion--
hatred in his eyes--treason
to his tongue that spoke such lies--
I, too, see demons, in his eyes...

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-17-2002 02:19 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

1 posted 2002-10-17 12:57 PM


Wow.

So finally--he sees demons--
I wonder what took him so long.

I liked these lines. Very strong. The whole poem was strong, but these lines especially, to me.

I, too, see demons, in his eyes...

And of course, this line. I like that it ends with '...' I don't know why, it just seems right.

Truly amazing.

Kielo

I need to change my signature. :D

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2002-10-17 01:09 AM


Well done!! But very scary...this is a REAL Halloween story...
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2002-10-17 03:17 AM


Well, witch
I've got my own damn demons, but mine don't seen quite as.......insistant

~Ed

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-10-17 08:21 AM




(big hugggssssss) Wow, I love this, sweet friend, I know this feeling all too well as I have fought thiese demons ever so well and yearn to push them out of my mind always and re-decor myself in rainbow wallpaper! (sigh) This will make an excellent haunting Halloween poem, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light alwyas shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2002-10-17 08:23 AM


Very powerful... creepy, evil. Eeeuuu!
And, so true to life. Very well written.

  ~he wanted solace and my shame~

that line alone speaks volumes, as does the entire poem.

I didn't know you knew my ex-husband!
lol, he would laugh, too, for he got rid of his demons, and somehow we both survived, and were set free. Amazing!

I like this. Insightful.


Warm Regards,
Pat



    

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-10-17 08:29 AM


yes well done...
looking underneath the surface story tells one a great deal...and nothing...

always a pleasure witch.. even when the write is unsettling...


RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

7 posted 2002-10-17 12:16 PM


Appears you witnessed a possession.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-10-17 01:24 PM


serenity,
Feed them to the dragon. He loves demons.
:squeeze>

WhileIWasGone
Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486

9 posted 2002-10-17 02:02 PM


Great work....enjoyed very much.

DeaDiAmore

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

10 posted 2002-10-18 02:55 PM


Halloween, nothin'.
This is the story of
realizing betrayal,
and he realizing
his betrayed...

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » satan's shadowing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary