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Open Poetry #23
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2002-10-17 10:47 PM



Betty?
Are you still here?
After all these years

Do you remember
when we would meet
In the morning?

You would spread my toast
and sweeten my coffee

But, that was when
we were younger,
both, a bit brighter,
clearer

Soon enough, though
we would only meet
in the lonely evenings

You, me, the whiskey

Through all the ups
all the downs
you were here
with me, all along

I remember the night
when Louise sent your
husband crashing out
onto the street after me

And the many times
you would hold my juice
while I looked around
for a hangover cure

So, sit with me
by the woodstove
and I’ll pour us another
for “Old Times” sake

And can you tell me,
if you recall,
what the hell happened
To Wilma and Fred?  

~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".      

~wranx~

© Copyright 2002 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-10-17 11:10 PM


"I remember the night
when Louise sent your
husband crashing out
onto the street after me"

this rather confused me...but so much does...
every thing else connected, and I love the squeak of yer swinging screen door, but me in all of me fog, didn't "get" that part...
it did not ring out of place, just made me feel like I was trespassing on private thought...?

but then, smile, consider the source here?

Hugs you...

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
2 posted 2002-10-17 11:34 PM


Sorry witch,
Tis an ode to a jelly jar.
(Betty Rubble)
last of a set

Just a little drunken conversation with an old friend is all.

~Ed

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-10-18 08:54 AM


(chuckling) You rather answer the question above as to what happened to Fred don't you? He went crashing in the street after you.....

like the form and the flow..also the tone, conversational and relaxed. The tone coupled with the flow, leads the reader into an understanding of sorts as to the writers state of mind...

as usual.. a treat to read and see what it is your mind and heart have created....

enjoyed my friend... enjoyed.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2002-10-18 09:51 AM


Actually Ron, it was the late Barney Rubble that came scattering to my heels. Thanks for attending this reunion.

Ed

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
5 posted 2002-10-19 01:57 AM


dis a bettyfull poime
yees

hee

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2002-10-19 02:13 AM


Why am I hearing square wooden wheels clunking down the road in this one? LOL, enjoyed this one, southern comfort.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-10-21 02:40 PM


Wow, at first I was almost positive that this was a sentimental look back at an old love, and then it turns out it is -- only cartoonish-like.

Very cool, Ed.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
8 posted 2002-10-22 12:14 PM


enjoyed
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