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Open Poetry #23
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Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia

0 posted 2002-10-12 07:19 AM



There are daily born commitments which rest hard on self-conceit  
To bring on yet another day of work and bills to meet
There are conjured ghosts that haunt the mind with what might not be there
But slowly something gnaws away at once felt love and care

The aging process changes many things as years go by
A love for something alters as there’s dreams of things to try
Duty takes the forefront for the leap of faith’s unknown
The mind foresees surrender, as its dreams are overgrown

Dying in submission as the years so quickly pass
Unwilling just to wander and again go taste the grass
Slipping further into self who shares with none his soul
The stench of weakness heavy and regret a mighty hole

I love my time of freedom when the walls do not deny
When I feel life does offer more, than on what I rely
But never has the feeling come, to say I’m almost there
No money and the outlook grim and bills still everywhere

Something hides inside me that I really can’t explain
Someone’s in there fighting and each day I feel their pain
The many thoughts are countless, but each brings me to conclude
A change is slowly coming with each hour that I brood

The dungeons they must open to a light that feeds the soul
The darkness that consumes me, it must lift to make me whole
The devils that possess my heart to feel the way of dread
Must surely disappear one-day and leave my pounding head

I live on hope, the dreams of change, the promise of reprieve
I pray to God and universe for stress inside to leave
I beacon all my senses to all join and say goodbye
To a job I dislike greatly and the thoughts which change deny  

© Copyright 2002 Rick Van Weenen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-10-12 09:03 AM



Now were you reading my diary?  LOL..Rick, truly, this is very good, and there are times when one must say, I've been responsible and done the daily mundane to get by...this may be my last chance, weigh all of the pros and cons, and hopefully, take that leap of faith...

good write...

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
2 posted 2002-10-12 11:12 AM


This was very well written and I enjoyed it tremendously.

Note, am editing this message. Everytime I see the title on the screen with the great big letters it does not make me want to read this. Doesn't look good.Then when I did, it really was very good. But, this is just my little opinion, or reaction, it is like a blue-collar title (nothing wrong w. blue-collar anythg) and a white collar piece, not in subject matter..but, in...maybe I should leave editing to editors....  

I did like it, and it's thought provoking. Thanks.
Warmly,
Pat  



..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (10-13-2002 07:39 AM).]

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2002-10-12 01:25 PM


Rick - this is an awesome write. Change is a good thing....but it's frightening at the same time. I wish you the best. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

S Arthur Grey
Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom
4 posted 2002-10-13 12:21 PM


I'm afraid that I recognize this place all too well.
Enjoyed the read in spite of that fact.

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
5 posted 2002-10-13 03:54 AM


Rick... I really enjoyed this.
I can relate to this as i'm sure most people can. Rely on your faith and God will see you through...Paul

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
6 posted 2002-10-13 08:44 AM


Dear Sunshine, you are truly a ray of hope to me, I am looking at change and with some hope it will come, it may be no better than what I have, but if I don't try I might never know.

Pat, thanks for the reply and the edit, I did not mean to put the title in UPPER CASE, but by chance it happened, I am glad that you did reply, if it were in lower case you may have passed it by, nice to find you here on this site, hope to hear more from you

Chris, thanks for your kind words, things do become frightening when commitments are always there, but I will try.

S Arthur Grey, I think that we all come to this place and I am also afraid that most of us tend to stay there as well, I am hoping for the break away, but unsure in my heart.

Paul, thanks for your words, I often rely on my friend in faith to somehow pull me through times of doubt and stress, I hope that he once again guides the way.

Many Many thanks to you all, much enjoyed your replies.

Sincerely Rick

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2002-10-18 04:40 AM



Rick~
I have to echo Sunshine.  This felt like I was
reading about myself.  I left a career of nearly
20 years, not so long ago, and I'm still trying
to figure out what comes next.
It's definately a journey, and a risk, and the 'not knowing'
is sometimes scary; but, so far, I believe it's worth it.
Good luck to you, in whatever direction you decide to go.
Hugs,
~Vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (10-18-2002 04:42 AM).]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2002-10-18 09:01 AM


Rick,
your poem appears to be one small step for man... I like your leap of faith and how to get to it.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2002-10-18 09:03 AM


enjoyed the write... thoughtful and very nicely constructed... my advice.. reinvent yourself!! We should all work to reinvent ourselves every day we live. It isn't easy, but I do have some experience in that I left a 20 year carrier and did just that, reinvent myself...now I am in the process of doing it again and trying to make sure the job and the responsibilities are something I can live with and not feel trapped or that lifeis passing by. Good luck in what ever you do!!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-05-03 04:27 AM


good write...I feel the same way!
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