November (revised repost from 22)

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Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2002-10-11 04:18 PM

All of you who’ve transgressed blindly against the ageless lies -- find me!
With the sickle of my lyrics I’ll tear open your eyes
Till you see though the syllables of (censored) like sibyls
Where the scarecrow of skepticism hangs on the crucifix
While your conscience hovers above like a beautiful angel – Lucifer!
Set me loose now! I’m a loose cannon, losing my cool,
A lone gunman rumbling through the crumbling halls of the school
Education breeds success like truth breeds politics
The streets have swallowed their share of the hollow tips
But I’ve climbed out of the trenches onto the branches of the Tree of Knowledge,
Watching the sheets of the calendars fall down like foliage.
I picked up the rotten apples of my fairest fantasies,
Bit the bitter core of the festering fruit of reality
And couldn’t rinse my mouth from the aftertaste of the fallacy
I stood on my calloused knees, freezing from the church’s stone-cold floors,
Where gold cupolas submerged the homeless and hopeless with hope.
I swallowed the stones that never turned into bread, (how tragic!)
Found the gates, but the smashed Apostle would not let me enter.
On paper wings, I scaled the fence but ended up like the phoenix,
And the passion that spread across my manuscripts so emphatically
Burned the embers of my soul into ashes and I descended, crashing
Face-first into the clouded puddles
Of the cold November.

[This message has been edited by Master (10-11-2002 10:04 PM).]

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-10-11 04:59 PM

got to say this is intense!

some nice word play in this and the imagery is interesting..

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

2 posted 2002-10-11 09:37 PM

I still liked the original version. But still a good write

Cold hands means a warm heart

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

3 posted 2002-10-12 12:06 PM

I posted on the original, and like the changes you made. But, I also must say this piece scares the hell out of me, which is probably ~a good thing~, grin, not sure if in content, or what.
Scary. But, that is what writing is supposed to do, isn't it, make one think, feel and reckon. Thanks, you did all that and more.

Warmly,
Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

4 posted 2002-10-12 12:07 PM

enjoy

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