How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Teen Poetry #6 Archive
 always
 1 2 3
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

always

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
baby1231
New Member
since 09-19-2003
[First Post] 7


0 posted 09-20-2003 10:40 AM       View Profile for baby1231   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for baby1231

Always


wether im with u or not
i always kno your thinking of me
and u say you love me a whole lot
but how do you kno we'll truly be
what you say we'll be

what would that make us now
a shadow that no one pays attention to
or two people that get ignored cause of their skin color
but through good times and bad times i will always love you
and in the end we end up together
its beutiful

~~*ally d*~~

© Copyright 2003 baby1231 - All Rights Reserved
sixington
Member
since 07-14-2003
Posts 54
Utah


1 posted 09-20-2003 10:09 PM       View Profile for sixington   Email sixington   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sixington

It annoyed me. i had a very difficult time getting past the abbreviations in this poem. I think you have some good lines, but i think that full words will always convey more of a message. ~ Amanda
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


2 posted 09-22-2003 05:01 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

It's nice to see you have decided to join us here at Passions for Poetry.  I hope you enjoy your stay in here.  If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact any of your moderators by e-mail.  That includes me  

It didn't annoy me, but I would have to agree that you should not abbreviate the words in your poems.  Unless you want it to soundlike a text message.  i like the way you wrote the poem, it shows a different style of writing.  That means you got talent.  

Keep sharing, and thanks for the read

You don't have to say you love me just be close at hand.......

[This message has been edited by Acies (09-22-2003 05:02 PM).]

Why
Junior Member
since 09-26-2003
Posts 32
Middle of nowhere


3 posted 09-26-2003 09:27 PM       View Profile for Why   Email Why   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Why

i agree with sixington about the abbreviations but overall this was a pretty poem
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Teen Poetry #6 >> always Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors